‘God’s timing is perfect.’ (Habakkuk 2:3) ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ (Ecclesiastes 3:1-15) ‘God will never give you more than you can handle.’ (1 Corinthians 10:13) Have you ever heard these ‘one-liners' spoken to you when you’re in a time of pain or turmoil? If you have, you know that it’s not helpful to the situation and it sure doesn’t feel good.
“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda is one who sings songs to the heavy hearted.” Proverbs 25:20. Anyone who has ever mixed vinegar and soda … or had a child who wanted to simulate a volcanic eruption, knows what the outcome is when you mix the two. What about giving up a jacket or coat when it’s cold? When you’re already cold, the loss of that garment only makes the cold worse. This proverb from the Bible is telling us that being upbeat and joyful when someone’s heart is heavy only makes it worse for them.
In John, Mary and Martha sent for Jesus when Lazarus, their brother, was sick and dying. Jesus got word of this, but then delayed for two days before he went to Bethany where they were. Lazarus had already died by the time He arrived. The family and friends of Lazarus were saddened and mourning at his death. The Bible then tells us that Jesus wept. Jesus met those who loved Lazarus where they were … in the moment.
Before Lazarus had died, Jesus said, ‘This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s son may be glorified through it.’ John 11:4 So, when Jesus said this, He already knew what was going to take place. He knew that He would tarry where He was and that Lazarus would be dead and in the grave when He arrived in Bethany. He also knew that He was going to resurrect Lazarus from the dead … yet … Jesus wept. Jesus could have shown up and ripped off a few one liners telling the family and friends of Lazarus that all was going to be fine … that God’s timing was perfect, and so on and so on. But, He didn’t. Jesus met the people where they were. He met them where they were. Jesus had compassion on them. He joined them in their sorrow. How cold and crass it would have been for Jesus to be superficial and not relate to the sorrow that Mary, Martha, and the friends of Lazarus were experiencing.
Jesus lived on Earth as God in a fleshly body. He experienced all of the emotions that we experience. Even though He knew He was going to resurrect Lazarus from the dead, He wept with the people. This is an excellent example of how we need to be with others when they are in difficult times whether it is a death of a loved one or any number of difficult things that we may experience in life in this fallen world.
It’s maturity in Christ that allows us to meet people where they are … to mourn with them and maybe even walk with them through trying times. We have to intentionally choose to meet people where they are. In this world where ‘catch phrases’ rule the air waves and social medias, so many in the Body of Christ do the same thing. One liners like the ones I mentioned before may be true or partially true, but, if spoken at the wrong time it actually may make it worse for the one on the receiving end.
Myself, I have gone through many very difficult times in the past several years. I assure you, I have been on the receiving end of some of these one liners and, just simply put, ill timed words. Maybe it’s because those who spoke didn’t understand what I was going through … very possibly. Maybe it’s because they didn’t care … again, a possibility. But, maybe their depth as a follower of Christ is superficial. Who knows? There are a number of reasons why these words were spoken to me. I assure you that as I write this, I can see the faces of those who unintentionally added to my pain. Of course I have forgiven them, but I have not forgotten these situations. I want to learn from them so that I don’t make the same mistakes. I want to be transparent and share with others so as to help those of us who are followers of Christ to grow the Body of Christ. It’s all about Jesus.
It’s all about Jesus.
We all go through difficult times in this life. We will all have difficult seasons. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) Jesus didn’t say if we have tribulations. He said, ‘… In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 So, it’s a matter of time until we enter a season of troubles/tribulation. I know I don’t want to be the person who causes more pain to another. I want to meet people where they are … believers and especially unbelievers.
I encourage you to embrace the example of Jesus with others who are going through trying times even though you may already know that they will make it through a difficulty, in time. Shallow words hurt others just like it describes in the Proverb; ‘Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda is one who sings a song to a heavy heart.’ Myself, I don’t want to be that person. I want to be more like Jesus.
I choose to be more like Jesus.
This may take some thought and prayer on our part. Holy Spirit is always here to help us. ‘Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning that cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.’ Romans 8:26-27 Another scripture I rely on is Luke 12:12 ‘The Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” When I have relied on this scripture, I assure you, God has never failed me in the words that come out of my mouth. Choose to be more like Jesus. It is a choice to allow Him to grow us to be more like Him.
