So, I grew up in a family where the words...

So, I grew up in a family where the words “I love you” were never spoken.  One day someone asked me how I knew that my parents loved me if they never spoke it out to me.  I honestly didn’t know how to answer that question.

True love became real to me when my son was born.  From that point on, I understood what it meant to be loved and to love someone very deeply and unconditionally.  I will never forget that day! 

After that, it was very important for me to express my love to others.  Even as Nicholas was just a tiny baby and couldn’t speak words, I would tell him, “I love you!”  One day I was standing him up on the kitchen cabinet and telling him that I loved him and he said “I aau  oou.”  He was telling me that he loved me!  That was the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life!

That’s just how God feels about us when we tell Him that we love Him.  He is thrilled.  He wants to hear that from us.  But He also wants us to know that He loves us.  The realization of how much I loved my new born son allowed me to understand just how much God loves me…His child.  And…the truth of the matter is…He loves us more that that!  His love is immeasurable and unconditional.  Until that moment, I didn’t get it!

In the Bible, John said that he was the disciple whom Jesus loved.  He got it!  No…it wasn’t arrogance on his part.  He simply knew that he was loved by God.  The beauty of it is that He loves us all the same!

We love Him because He first loved us.   1 John 4:19

My prayer is that we all attempt to grasp just how much God loves us and that our understanding of how much He loves us grows and deepens daily.  Just knowing that He loves me and wants the best for me causes me to love Him that much more.  What an awesome God we serve!!

If you find yourself without...

I just hate being misunderstood…but, in all reality, who doesn’t!?!

That’s why I’m so grateful that I can tell my Heavenly Father everything, without holding back, and know without a shadow of doubt that He understands exactly what I’m feeling and going through. 

Jesus said that he had to go from this earth, but when he did, he would send us a Helper…the Holy Spirit.   John 16:7   I just love this!!  How wonderful it is that the Holy Spirit is with us always?!  He will comfort us when needed, give us wisdom when needed, open our eyes and ears when needed, etc.   We don’t have to be at church to ask for help from Him.  He is with us always.  We only need to realize it.  Twenty-some years ago, I found myself at the grocery store and realized that I had forgotten my list.  I decided to put this to the test.  I prayed that the Holy Spirit would bring to my memory everything I had placed on my list.  I continued my shopping and when I got home, I found that everything on that list had been brought to my memory while shopping. 

With that said, our Helper is always with us.  It’s been my experience that it’s very challenging to find someone who will actually listen to what I’m saying…especially without interjecting their two cents worth! (See “To Speak or Not To Speak!”)  That’s not so with the Holy Spirit.  He listens and takes action on our behalf, whatever the situation may be.

If you find yourself without anyone safe to share what’s going on in your life…you’re not alone.  The Holy Spirit is always there for us no matter what time of day or night.  He always understands exactly what we’re going through…no matter what it may be.  Put your trust in the God of the Universe.  He will never fail you!!

Don't assume that you know...

Don’t assume that you know the reason why you see what you “see” in others.

Recently, I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been able to observe the behavior of several different people in a particular setting.  In honesty, I really don’t understand this behavior and have asked God to give me wisdom, understanding and discernment.  It’s a situation where, if I allowed myself, it would be very easy to pass judgment.  But every time that temptation comes up, I ask God to give me the strength to overcome it…He has been SO faithful.

So, as the months have gone by and I have continually observed, one thing God has brought to light for me is that one of these folks is very ill.  To look at her, one would think that all is well.  But in reality, she revealed to me that the doctors have told her that she has only a few years to live.  Needless to say, that hit me like a ton of bricks!!  Knowing this, I totally understand her behavior.  Before knowing this info…it was difficult to understand. 

For many years now, due to my own highly dysfunctional background, it’s been important for me to get to know other people’s story.  Knowing someone else’s story can give insight as to why people do what they do…why they react the way they do and so on.

I can say from experience, it’s no fun when others choose to judge by their own experiences instead of the experiences of the one they’re judging!!

Everyone has a story.  Get to know their story and Heaven forbid…don’t set yourself above them!  Let’s pray that we will love the way Jesus loves!!  J

When you find yourself in a sticky situation...

Quite some time ago, I had a conversation with someone who was having a difficult time with family members.  It was an emotional time for my friend.  In this emotional state they began to speak about the situation coming up with the family members in a negative way…claiming that the situation was going to blow up into an argument.  It was obvious that there were already hard feelings there.  I told this person that the situation didn’t need to blow up and it would and could blow up only if they wanted and allowed it to.

You see, we cannot control what other people do, but we can control what we do and how we react to what others do.  If we know that a situation is volatile(or and situation for that fact!), that’s when we should take it to the Lord in prayer.

PRAYER CHANGES THINGS!!

We have different choices that we can make in situations like this.  We can take it into our own hands doing any number of things…and more than likely make a mess of the entire situation, or we can give it to the Lord.  Giving it to the Lord is the best and wisest decision we can make.  And, when we take it to the Lord, of course this fleshly body that we’re in usually wants what it wants when it wants it.  We need to remember that we should always ask for God’s will and not our own.  We may think that we know exactly what needs to be done in a given situation.  But in reality, God is the only One who can see the big picture.

When you find yourself in a sticky situation, remember to take it to the Lord and trust that He will work all things out for the good.  In my friends’ situation, I believe that’s exactly what they did.  I found out later that everything went swimmingly.

Trust God…He has our best interests at heart.    

So...I find myself frustrated with...

So...I find myself frustrated with others from time to time.  Then I ask myself, why?  Well, because they’re not doing what I think they should.  Hmmm…then I ask myself…what am I not doing that God wants me to do and is probably waiting for me to do?  Yikes!!  Hello!!

You know if we have given our lives to follow Jesus, we are all on a different place on the same path.  Just because we “get” or understand something now doesn’t mean that everyone else around us will get it at the same time we do.  In fact, if we’re honest with ourselves, we probably aren’t getting something that they understand. 

We’re all unique individuals and God has a time and place for understanding the things that He wants us to understand as individuals.  And…He is supremely patient in waiting for us to come to the understanding that He wants us to have.  Oh, how grateful I am for His grace and mercy for me!!

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Proverbs 27:17 

We need to be who God made us to be and not compare ourselves to others…or hold them to our expectations!  As we interact with others, just simply being who we are in Christ will cause us to sharpen one another.  That’s the work of the Holy Spirit…not us.

So, cut yourself and others some slack.  Take care of yourself.  Focus on being who you are in Christ.  Leave the rest to God.  I’m sure He’s got it all under control!  J

In Paula Deen's situation...

 

The last few days the hot topic has been about Paula Deen.  I read today where someone said that no grace had been extended to her and how folks don’t understand God’s grace.  Well, I have to agree that many folks don’t understand God’s grace, but I don’t agree that it’s our place to decide whether or not grace has been extended to her or not.  There’s no way we can know the full extent of what has happened to cause this storm.

In my own life, I have sowed and reaped good things and bad things.  It’s life!  I’m an imperfect human just like everyone else who has ever walked this planet, except Jesus, of course.  I have had to be a part of reaping things that were not good because I was a part of a family/group that had sown badly.  No, it’s not fair…and I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that there have been days I have struggled with the idea that I felt like I was paying for someone else’s bad sowing.  But, the reality is…God is sovereign…period!!  He has a purpose for all things and it’s not for me to question his sovereignty. (Trust me, I have reaped plenty of my own sowing from poor choices, too!)

And yet some might say; where is God’s grace in all of this?  Maybe we/whomever should just be let off the hook because of God’s grace? I could easily ask these questions in the situations I’ve been in where I wasn’t the one doing the sowing, but…I won’t.  The reason is because I see God’s grace everywhere in these situations in my own life!  My question is; who are we to determine where God’s grace ends and where it begins?  I can easily see that if it weren’t for God’s grace, things could be a lot worse than they are now in my life/family…but it’s not!  I know God’s grace is here…but I truly don’t know the extent…beginning and ending of it.  Nor is it for me to question the sovereignty of God.  I trust that He knows best.


I also know from my own experiences that I’ve extended a tremendous amount of grace to folks who have abused it.  At some point, we all have to make a decision that we’re not going to be a door mat.

 

In Paula Deen’s situation, I feel badly that she’s having a rough go of it now.  But I also feel badly for those who have been the recipient of harsh words spoken to them by her.  It’s a bad situation all around.  There is no winner in this.  But this I do know; And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 

Sometimes, reaping what we’ve sown is not easy.  But, it’s what we learn from it and how we apply it to our future sowing that either makes us a better person or in our stupidity or ignorance, keeps us continuing on the same path.  It’s our choice. 

When speaking the truth...

How is the truth being spoken?  Is it spoken in love or is it being screamed from a street corner with a bull horn or worse yet, from a pulpit by a screaming, spitting pastor?

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,  I have become a gong or clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

From my own history, I can tell you that I was used to receiving what I believed to be truth without love…and often, that’s how I spoke the truth, as well.  I come from a highly dysfunctional family and it’s all I knew.  I thought it was normal to be critical, mean spirited and overbearing in “truth.”

When I became a Christian and began attending church, it seemed normal to have the truth yelled or screamed at me from the pulpit.  But when I truly began to understand the love of God, this yelling and screaming didn’t make any sense to me.  I began to question where the love was in it.  I can understand being passionate and intense in explaining something, but when it leads to someone yelling, screaming and pointing fingers at those who they consider sinners and calling other denominations cults simply because they believe they have the right to…I cannot stomach it.  I don’t want to hear a word that is being said.  I have been in church services where people, who felt the same way I did, got up and walked out.  There is no love in this type of message, even if there is some truth in what is being spoken.

So, yes…when speaking the truth, speak it in love.  The old saying, “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” speaks volumes.  Truth…speak it in love or don’t speak it at all…please?!

 

Just because you stand for what you believe...

Just because you stand for what you believe doesn’t mean you don’t love sinners.  Speak the truth in love, love the sinner. 

If you’re a Christian, persecution comes with the territory to a greater or lesser degree depending upon where in the world you live.  If we stand up for the truth of what God says about living a moral life, we’re persecuted. 

When Jesus told the Pharisees that whoever was without sin to cast the first stone, He was defending a woman who had been caught in adultery.  Jesus then spoke to the woman and told her to go and sin no more.  He spoke the truth to her in that she shouldn’t commit the sin of adultery any longer.  He was loving and kind to her.  He didn’t shy away from speaking the truth to her in love nor did He condemn her or, being the only One without sin, He didn’t stone her.

This is how we should, as Christians, handle similar situations.  In the times that we live in now, it seems that we can say that we’ve nearly seen it all…there’s nothing new under the sun.  There are some crazy things going on in our world and when we need to stand up for the truth, we need to speak the truth in love.  In 1 Corinthians it says that if we speak with tongues of men or angels but we don’t have love, we are like a clanging gong or cymbal.  Annoying!!  Speak the truth in love, but know that not everyone is going to like what you have to say.  Persecution is everywhere and should be anticipated.  Jesus said, “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.  If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.   Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.   But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me.  If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.” John 15:18-22

Don’t condone sin.  Speak the truth in love.  Know that we will be persecuted.  Remember that God is with us.  His grace is sufficient to get us through all things!

Don't let others fit you into their...

No one but you knows what you are called to do.  Don’t let others fit you into their mold of what they think you should do.  Be the you that God created you to be.

Several years ago, I was a pretty insecure person.  I worried about what others said and thought about me…I was a people pleaser.  That behavior is all that I knew…from childhood well into my adult life as well!   

Anyway, years ago when I was a kid, I remember that I loved to sing and even tryed to write songs…music has always done it for me!  One day I heard a couple of girls singing and I said to a close relative that I could sing as well as them.  This person laughed and said, “Oh no you can’t.”  I cannot begin to tell you how many years those words affected me…because I believed them!  After that, I never even considered singing aloud for others until I was well into my twenties.  It’s true!

One day, I remembered that situation.  I realized then, just how much I had let those four little words affect my life.  I made a decision that I would no longer let someone fit me into their mold of what they thought I was capable of doing.  NO MORE!  No one but God and myself know what He has called me to do.  (Of course I only know the details on a “need to know” basis.)  I will not let the opinions of others rule my life.  That was one of the best decisions that I could have ever made.

If we aren’t secure in who God has created us to be, how can we ever be fully effective within the Body o f Christ?  When you’re on a mission, so to speak, and you know that God has called you to do it, don’t let anyone stop you.  Keep your eyes on the Lord.  Don’t look to the right or the left.  God will see you through to the end!