Choose Love!!

As many of you know, one of my mission fields is at Starbucks coffee shop.  Over the past few years, I have become friends with a number of people of many different races, socio-economic statuses, etc.  There is a gentleman who has consistently been joining our group for the past two and a half years.  He traveled the world in his younger days, is quite a character and, for the most part, has been pleasant, until recently.  You see, the way I see this gentleman is where he is or isn’t in the Kingdom of God.  I know that God has brought him here because He has his mark on him…a mark for salvation.  According to the evidence of the fruit of the Spirit, this person, we’ll call him “Merle”, is either a back-slidden Christian or he has never known Christ as his Savior.

 

As the group of women, with the exception of Merle, has progressed to hearing, understanding and accepting the gospel, Merle has become increasingly diligent in opposing me, personally…and he’s extremely verbal about it.  This is very much a spiritual battle.  Now, I choose love, as challenging as it may be in the real time of the situation.  I’m not going to allow myself to push him away because I know what, or rather who, is behind these attacks.

 

You see, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with.  It’s the enemy.  Ephesians 6:12

 

I have set my mind to not allow myself to be offended by him because it’s more important to me that “Merle” find eternity in Heaven, rather than in eternal damnation.  I have to take this all the way back to the cross.  How long did Jesus wait for me?  Was I arrogant and rude to Christians as they were planting seed for the Kingdom of God?  Honestly, I don’t remember the answers to those questions, but I probably was rude and arrogant, and I’m sure Jesus was very patient the entire time He waited for me to answer “yes” to His call.  Therefore, I choose to be the same to Merle.  We cannot expect non believers to totally be accepting to the call of salvation in Christ Jesus.

 

This point of this blog is not to pat myself on the back.  The point is to point us all to Jesus.  It’s the will of our Heavenly Father, our Daddy, that all should be saved.  2 Peter 3:9  In cases like this, we must turn the other cheek.

 

This gentleman has risen to another level of attack.  It’s quite turned into verbal abuse, of which I am well associated.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I stood my ground with him along with silent prayer in the moment.  This did not dissuade him in the least.  I have been in prayer about how to handle this situation.  And, although I don’t know what the course of action is, I know the One who does.  I am at rest with this.  And, whether or not Merle comes to know Christ as his Lord and Savior, I am choosing love for this elderly gentleman. My heart cries out for his salvation.  In the time that I have come to know and love Merle, his health has declined quickly.  He reminds me of my own earthly dad, especially in that he has chosen to disassociate himself with his daughter, which I know from experience is heart breaking.

 

I’m sure that in one way or another, we all may have someone in our life that comes to mind as we read this.

 

Choose love.

 

Choose to turn the other cheek.

 

However, you’re not a doormat either.  Know when to keep on keepin’ on and when to walk away.  Like I said earlier, I’m not sure of the course of action as far as what to say and when to say it. But I have set my mind that I will allow the Holy Spirit to show me what the course of action is.  Luke 12:11-12  

 

Know that if and when you find yourself in a situation like this, it is the enemy who is attacking you through the person, not the man / woman, themselves.  Set your mind to keep that perspective.  When the enemy sees that the person they’re controlling is taking steps towards the Kingdom of God, they kick up the attack through that person.  In fact, often, the attack will get much worse before it gets better simply because the enemy doesn’t want to lose…and, in this case, I DO believe that the enemy will lose.  It’s just a matter of time.

 

Count it all joy!!  James 1:2-8  God is not surprised by this situation, nor does He not have a plan for it.  I don’t look down on this man.  I look forward to what God’s plan is for him.  I also look for the ways that God is growing me through this situation.  I’ve heard it said that God is the ultimate recycler.  I just love this statement because it’s so true!!  God doesn’t waste a single thing.  If we allow Him, He will work all things for our good.  Romans 8:28    Hallelujah!!

 

Choose Love!!     

Know who you are in Christ!!

I recently had a conversation with someone where, going into it, I thought that we were on the “same ground,” so to speak.  I soon found out that this wasn’t the case.

 

I’m writing about this, not to condemn or put down anyone, but rather to share what I have experienced so that others don’t get caught in a snare of the enemy, which is something that could have easily happened to me in this situation.

 

All in all, I have to say that this is not a situation that I will knowingly repeat.  Although there was some good that came from it, overall, I believe it was an attempted snare of the enemy to bring me down mentally and emotionally to attempt to keep me from moving forward with the Lord.  As #JoyceMeyer says: “New level, new devil!”  #Truth

 

In a nut shell, while sharing what the Lord has done in my life.  In one sentence that took merely seconds to speak, this person, had I believed what they said and allowed it, could have wiped out the true meaning of the past 8-10 years of my life. What I mean by that, is that had I not known who I am in Christ, I could have received the words that this person spoke over me and made the decision that I was no good and the past decade of my life I was a complete failure. Now, that being said, yes, the past decade has been extremely challenging.  However, I can see God’s purpose and training in every trial that has come my way.  I was told that I wasn’t praying effectively and that I brought all of the trouble on myself because I allowed it to happen.  Nope!!  Not sorry and not gonna receive that.  Am I perfect? Absolutely not.  Did I bring all of this on myself?  No, not in the least.  Could I have handled some situations better?  Possibly, in some situations.  But, I know now that I could have. Where, in the midst of the situation, I did the best that I knew.  It’s called training.  God is training me to fully and completely be who He created me to be. And, quite honestly, I’m not going to beat myself up for mistakes that I have made in training.  God doesn’t beat me up over it, so why should I beat myself up?  Does God correct me?  Yes, but He never beats us up.

 

There are certain spirits that I’ve sensed about the geographic area that I live in for a long time now.  I have wondered what it was / they were and about a year ago, the Lord revealed it, or at least part of it, to me in a dream.  Not only did He show me what it was, He showed me that He has used it for my good. Romans 8:28  He has used it to train me…my “college” …Holy Spirit U. My years haven’t been wasted years.  They have been training years and He has used incredible opposition to shape me, mold me, train me, strengthen me, stretch my faith and trust in Him.  He has used this situation, as well, to allow me to see just how far He’s brought me from only having an idea of who I am in Christ to knowing who I am in Him.

 

Do you know who you are in Christ?  The definition of know: have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with. You see because I spend time with the Lord, not on a regular basis, but as a lifestyle, I have come to know Him.  I know that He is with me always, whether I feel or sense Him or not.  When I sin, I repent immediately and ask Him to help me.  Because I abide in Him, I have come to know who I am in Him, therefore, allowing me to see or know when something or someone is speaking something that doesn’t line up with the Word of God.  Now, am I saying that I have “arrived” and have nothing more to learn in this area?  No, not at all.  What I’m saying is that I know who I am in Christ at this moment of my life and I believe that as long as I continue the lifestyle of walking daily, actually, every moment of my life being led by the Holy Spirit, He will continue to grow me in all areas of life. Romans 3:12-14

 

So, as a Follower of Christ, I encourage you to strive to know who you are in Christ if you don’t already.  Ask Him to show you who you are in Him.  He is faithful and will show you in His own way and His own timing. 1 Corinthians 1:9  Be diligent, patient and alert. Proverbs 13:4

 

As for myself in this situation; I have been praying for this person…praying peace, love, joy and prosperity.  Matthew 5:44   Remember, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with, but principalities, powers and rulers of the darkness of this age.  Ephesians 6:12  I have examined myself in the situation, allowed God to show me anything that I do need to change about myself, because there is always room for improvement,  and am acting accordingly.

 

Know who you are in Christ!! 

Just a bit messy...

This morning I was making scones.  It’s become a weekly thing I do for the ladies and I who meet Saturday mornings at Starbucks to color, share and support each other through life.  It’s a very therapeutic and delicious time for us!

 

The process of baking scones has not come easily.  One time they come out great another time, not so great.  I haven’t been able to figure out what I did the few times they were great compared to the not so great times.  I began asking the Lord to show me what I was doing differently.  First, He showed me that I had switched cookie sheets.  At some point, I had increased the recipe and in doing so I changed baking pans and that made all the difference in the world.

 

Next…scones can be a bit messy to make.  I have to get my hands in the mixture to break down the butter with the flour.  Then slowly add in the egg and cream mixture. This produces a “loose dough” that is not quite all together.  When I dump it out of the bowl to flatten out, it tends to go everywhere and I do my best to keep it from scattering everywhere.  This morning, I found that I was laughing at myself attempting to “keep it together” and not be so messy.  Laughing out loud, I spoke out loud, “Lord, I must look silly trying to keep from making a mess.  How would You do this? You must know a better way.”  He spoke to my heart that sometimes thing are messy.  It’s just the way it is.  But the end result is good.

 

I just love that way He teaches me!!  Yep, just like this scone recipe, sometimes life is just plain and simple…messy.  In fact, probably more often than not, life is messy.  But as long as we have our eyes fixed on Him…not looking to the right or left…but, fixed on Him.  The end result will be good.      

I'm Not Where I Used To Be...Thank God!!

I’m inspired to write today because I believe that a shift has taken place in my life.  Two years ago, 2014, everything in my life was coming to a halt.  I could literally envision big gears slowing to a complete halt.  In July of that year, slowly, very slowly, things began to move again and seemingly in a new direction.

 

The Angie that you see today is far from the Angie of 20, 30 or 40 years ago.  I owe all that I am today to my Lord and Savoir, Jesus Christ.  Without him, I don’t believe I would be here today.

 

By the time I was 36 years old back in the spring of 2003; I was shut off from society.  I was depressed, working through tough issues that had been suppressed in my life for years and years.  I wasn’t in denial.  I just didn’t even realize that they existed simply because of the way I had been raised.  Hang with me for a moment…   I have a friend who is from Poland.  She was an Olympic swimmer.  Once I asked her about what it was like growing up in a communist country.  She said that she didn’t know the difference until she began to compete in other countries outside of Poland.  It was then that she could see how life was different than what she knew in her own country.  That’s how it was with me.  I had been brainwashed to believe that the way I was living was truly living.  Jesus was healing me and bringing me out of that miry pit I had been raised in.

 

Now with that said, life has been challenging.  But, one thing I know.  I don’t have to look too far from where I stand to see someone who has had a tougher time than I have.  That’s just the way it is.  I don’t think I’m a special case…nothing like that.

 

So…in 2003, I found myself, angry, depressed, lonely, confused and barely able to function and often bombarded with suicidal thoughts. Many of you have heard my story about how, at this time of my life, the only person outside of my family I really ever spoke with was the barista at my local coffee shop and how, years later, God has moved me into a ministry at my local coffee shop.  What I’m about to share with you is another way that God has taken something from this time of my life and is turning it into a ministry to help other women who have had a similarly challenging life.

 

One day during this time of my life, I began to think, “Is this all there is to my life?”  “Something about this isn’t fair…it isn’t right.”  “Why have all of my plans come to an end?” “Am I going to be ‘that person’ who was voted ‘Most Talented’ in my class to end up dead by my own hand?”  I was crying out to God…and He had a plan.

 

For several years I had been making pepper jelly.  I would give it away as gifts.  Most people liked it so much that they would encourage me to sell it.  Suddenly, the idea came to me that I should sell it at the local Farmers Market…so I did.  When I look back on this, all I can see is God’s Hand at work because, in the midst of the depression, anxiety and dysfunction, I could not have done this on my own.  What I realized later is that He used this to get me back into society.

 

At the Farmer’s Market, He placed me next to two of the most wonderful Christians I have known.  They were loving, kind and accepting of me.  They had five grown daughters of their own, but said that I could be their “adopted daughter.”  Tom and Mary were wonderful Christian examples to me.  Although Tom has gone on to be with our Lord, Mary and I still visit.  She is 86 years young and still is blooming for the Lord wherever He plants her.  She’s quite and inspiration!!

 

So, for several years, I sold pepper jelly at the farmers market.  It was a very successful business, but then that season in my life came to an end.  God began to move me into another purpose.  Music!!  Music was / is a passion.  He began to move me in that direction once again. The pepper jelly hobby went on the “back burner.”

 

I was such an insecure person.  It’s all I had known simply because of the way I was raised.  I feared being in front of people by myself.  In school I had no problems performing because I was always in a group.  But, when I had to perform by myself, I would very nearly loose it.  In high school, I had gone to try out for the All State band.  I got so nervous and upset that I literally had to run to the bathroom to vomit simply because I had walked into the school where the tryouts were taking place.  All these years later, this dysfunction was still in me and needed to be removed from my life.  I followed the leading of the Lord.  I tried out at my church to be on the worship team and was told that I could be on the team, but that I had to be in the choir to be chosen.  So, I joined the choir.  This was a stretch for me because choir is not my gig at all!  But, along with being in the choir, the Lord led me to get a set ready and play at my local coffee shop.  I did it, but, I would be a nervous wreck the entire day that I would be scheduled to play.  I did this for 18 months and on most nights to an empty coffee shop…all the time, the Lord was working this fear out of my life.  I would get discouraged sometimes because I was singing in an empty coffee shop, but then I would encourage myself because I knew that I had to be faithful in the small things in life.  I wouldn’t allow the discouragement to take over.  The last coffee shop gig I did was to a packed house of people who were obviously enjoying the gift of music the Lord has placed within me.  Then, as quickly as the coffee shop door had opened, it then closed.  God was moving me to the next step in the process.

 

I believe it was the next day after what I now know to be my last coffee shop gig, I was called and asked to lead worship at a local outreach.  That began an 18 month training session in leading worship for me.

 

Now, even though I wasn’t selling pepper jelly at the farmers market, I would still keep it on hand and give it away or even sell a few jars here and there to loyal customers.  One Sunday I was at the outreach getting ready to lead worship and I had taken a jar of pepper jelly to give to the pastor.  As I handed him the jar, the Lord spoke to me that I should use the jelly as a way to help people.  From that moment on, I knew that some day, God would put everything in place to do just that.  That took place October 4 of 2009, nearly seven years ago.

 

Today, I believe the time has come to move the pepper jelly from the back burner to a full fledged non-profit organization.

 

I was in Starbucks, as usual, talking with some of my homies.  I had recently made some jelly and gave away the leftover jars.  They were raving about it and expressing the need to mass produce it.  It was then that I shared what I believed I would eventually use it for…helping abused women.  Now, what I didn’t know is that there was someone nearby who overheard what I was saying, liked my idea…AND…her job is to set up non-profit organizations.  All I can say is that God is amazing!!  A few days later this person approached me and explained that she had overheard what I said and that she had some ideas for me.  Long story short, we met and she literally lay out in front of me what I need to do to get this project up and running.

 

Now, the goal is for the Angie’s Pepper Jelly to be a 503(c) non -profit organization that will not only produce jelly for sale and partner with other organizations to help abused women financially, but also to serve as a place for women to work, earn a wage and gain self esteem and a new skill set to help put them back on the road to success in their lives.

 

I have set the goal for a year from now to have this up and running.  I have put this in the Lord’s hands and will continue to do so.  I believe that He created this to help me out of a challenging dysfunctional time of my life and then will continue to use it to help many, many others out of similar situations.

 

I hope that you can see how God has moved in my life to give me the life of abundance that He speaks of in John 10:10  The enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.  These are the words of Jesus.  It is His will that we live an abundant life…in all aspects…physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.  He wants us to be healed so that we can help others.  God’s word says in 3 John 1:2,  “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”   You see, yes, I was a mess.  But I have allowed God to take me out of the pit, clean me up and work through me to help others.  As my soul prospers, He wants me to prosper…and that means helping others in the way that He leads me and guides me.

 

I pray that if you are going though a challenging time, that God will show you what you need to do or need to allow Him to do in you.  He is the Author and Finisher of our faith.  Put your trust in Him and allow Him to show you what He created you for.  This life is but a vapor in the whole scheme of things.  Don’t waste the time that’s been given to you.

 

Vapors vanish quickly.