What do you believe?

Lately the Lord has had me stay focused on chapters 10 and 15 in John.  This morning, John 15:24 stood out to me.  “If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also hated both me and my Father.”  These are words spoken by Jesus.  Throughout the previous text, Jesus had been ridiculed and criticized for “doing good works.”  Now, the good works that Jesus was doing were things like, healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, revealing sin in lives and releasing them to “go and sin no more.”  Jesus knew who He was.  He was God in flesh allowing the Holy Spirit to heal, give sight, etc. 

In John 15:24, it says that if he had not done these works, they would have no sin.  I find this very interesting because basically, it was the Jews / Pharisees (the religious leaders of the time) who were criticizing Jesus … to the point that they wanted to kill Him.  John 10:31-33 (Hmmm … what about that commandment, “Thou shalt not kill??)

The religious leaders of that time knew the word.  They had it memorized.  They had it down.  But, when God in the flesh stood in front of them, they didn’t know Him.  They saw the good works He did and claimed that He had a demon.  But some said, “These are not the words of a demon, can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”  John 10:21

The good works that Jesus did an does seem to be a stumbling block for us. Why is that?  Why is it so difficult for us to believe that miracles do happen … everyday … great or small. ( as seen by human eyes. It’s just as simple for God to do a “small” miracle as it is a “great miracle.”)

Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Basically, Solomon is saying that history repeats itself.  It’s all been done before. Mankind will repeat the same things over and over again year after year, decade after decade, and millennia after millennia.  We shouldn’t be surprised when we see these things being repeated.  But, I believe the question is; “Do we even see when history is repeating itself … in religious leadership, in the government, in the work place, in our own little world … in ourselves?”  You see, I don’t have to look very far in my own life to see that history is repeating or has repeated itself.  I don’t have to look very far in my world, religious leadership near or far, or in the government to see that history is repeating itself. But, I have to look to God to give me eyes to see it.  And, I have to look to God to know how to make the proper changes.  History does repeat itself, but what can and should we learn from it to make changes at any and all levels?

Twenty years ago, I helped a single mom with a teenage child get her sight back from blindness due to fast growing cataracts.  God led us to an organization that took care of her issues one hundred percent!  She had lost her job due to literal blindness and was living on $350 a month.  I watched religious leaders turn their backs on her.  In fact, my pastor at that time told me that he didn’t give pearls to swine.  He really did say that! Unbelievable!! History repeating … Luke 10:25-37  Now, as I got to know this woman, she revealed to me that her dream was to have a soup kitchen for the lost and hungry.  I have to tell you, I encouraged this woman to follow her dream.  I didn’t discourage her because of her situation or what the world … or fellow Christians would consider her “status” to be in society.  That’s not for me to do.  Her dream is between her and God and it’s for her to work out with Him. 

Just recently I was out and about and saw an acquaintance that I hadn’t seen in about a year.  She asked how I was doing.  The last time she had seen me, I was in much emotional pain due to the recent announcement that my husband was divorcing me.  The divorce is now old news and I’m in a much better place … not where I want to be, but working towards it.  As I explained to her all that God had done and is doing, the countenance on her face began to change, not for the good, and physically she even backed up from me a bit … as though there was something wrong with me.  She then literally looked away and walked away from me as I was in mid sentence.  No, you see, there’s “nothing wrong with me.”  I’m simply working out God’s will for my life.  She had told me of God’s will for her life and I rejoiced with her.  I didn’t make a judgment that she was incapable of following the dreams that God has placed inside of her.  I certainly didn’t receive the same encouragement from her and I won’t let her unbelief discourage me, either.  Again, unbelief in God’s good works.

We, too easily, can know God’s word … inside and out … but, can get hung up on His good works.  If we believe that we know completely how God works things out, we are fooling ourselves, and basically, we are placing ourselves as God when or if we make a determination that someone is “incapable” of something.  That’s not our job and it doesn’t work that way.  God does what He wants, and it’s not always the way we would do it or even comprehend it.  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither  are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

Recently, I had a gentleman tell me that it’s not possible for us to hear God’s voice.  He found it necessary to tell me four different times in about a minute that he was a religious leader and that he had never heard God’s voice.  Again, a stumbling block.  God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He can and will speak to us whatever way He chooses.  We must be willing to listen.  See Numbers 22:21-39

We must be very careful.  Jesus said that if He hadn’t done those good works, they would not have sinned.  I believe that is very relevant for us today.  We must not allow ourselves to get caught in unbelief because of the good works that Jesus is doing all around us, through others who are willing to allow Him to work through them.  And, when I say this, I’m in no way saying that we should believe everything that we see, hear, or experience.  We must use wisdom, which God provides.  If any of you lacks wisdom, ask of God and He will give it without reproach. James 1:5

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again and again; many of us in the church have become dependent upon our own experiences and, knowingly or unknowingly, decided what is or isn’t of God.  Instead of being led by the Holy Spirit, many of us are leading with worldly head knowledge instead.  By doing that, we are, knowingly or unknowingly, placing restrictions on God … placing Him in a box.  You see, if we choose not to believe, we’re literally keeping the Holy Spirit from working in all the ways that He could. You can read about how Jesus was unable to do many miracles in home town in Matthew.  “He did not do many miracles due to their lack of faith.” John 13:58  Are we, as the Church, stopping God from doing many miracles due to our lack of faith?  Do we persecute those who do have the faith to believe in God’s very creative miracles?  Do we seek to stone them with our words, simply because we choose to not believe?

Jesus went about doing good.  Acts 10:38. He had an unlimited supply of the Holy Sprit, as do we, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit like Jesus was.  John 3:34  And we, as followers of Christ and co-heirs with Him, have the same Holy Spirit.  All we need to do is simply believe.

There was a man in the Bible whose son was taken over by a demon.  He sought Jesus to heal him.  Jesus said to the man “If you believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”  The man said, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”  Mark 9:14-29  Jesus then cast out the demon and the boy was healed.

I believe there are many in the church who don’t even believe that casting demons out is necessary in this day and age.  This is very far from the truth.  I, myself, was a part of a group of women who cast demons out of a lovely young woman who had been greatly abused in her short twenty-one years of life.  We watched her transform from being bipolar, depressed, anxious, and on medication to a whole person, free from the demons (and medication) who had controlled her life due to situations beyond her control.  This is the healing power of Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior!

Do you believe?  Do you need help for your unbelief?  I have to tell you that in my own life, I pray that scripture often at times … especially in the past two years.  I have been in situations where I didn’t understand why certain things were happening or sometimes even what was happening.  I trusted God because I believed Him.  But, I prayed for Him to help any unbelief that I had within me, as well.  I’m very grateful for that scripture.

As the Church, the Body of Christ, we need to take our hands off of things more and allow God to work through us.  We need to ask anew for eyes to see as God sees, ears to hear clearly what the Holy Spirit is speaking to us, and help for our unbelief.  Having unbelief about certain things isn’t necessarily a bad thing because we’re human.  We need God’s help.  If we didn’t need help with unbelief from time to time, there wouldn’t be a story about in in God’s word, and we wouldn’t need God.

Ultimately, we need to see God’s good works for what they are.  We don’t need to fear them and, in turn like the Jews of Jesus’ time did, deny them.

God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8  He is in control, not us.

We really don’t want to repeat the things that the Jews of Jesus’ time did … ultimately denying the good works of God, do we?  Let’s not let history repeat itself on our watch. There are so many lost and / or hurting in the world, and the church, as well.  Let’s  take our hands off and with wisdom, embrace God’s healing and restoring powers.  Let’s choose to ask for help with any unbelief we may have so that we don’t hinder God from moving in our lives or the lives of those around us.

He is God. We are not. 

Let’s not allow unbelief to keep us form God’s best for us … keeping us from fully impacting the world around us for the advancement of God’s Kingdom! 

Be Thankful ...Deliberately!

Many years ago, around 2003-04, my life was an absolute mess. I didn't really know what was happening. I was depressed. I had terrible anxiety ... and I didn't even know why. All I could do was cry out to God. I didn't have the support of family. As far as friends were concerned, I didn't have any that really cared about what I was going through. I WAS ALONE ... as far as humans were concerned. God was always there ... even when He didn't seem near. 

As I sought the Lord and even some counseling, I began to realize what had happened in my childhood that God was healing me of. There were many things that I never even realized. My eyes were blinded to some things, and others I had deliberately buried. I had never been taught how to deal with things properly. BUT GOD!! He sees all. He knows all. He IS in control of all things. And, He chose this time in my life to reveal to me what had happened that I just didn't understand ... and began the healing process.

I had closed myself off from everyone. I would literally strengthen myself to pick Nicholas up from school. I would do everything I could to be a loving, caring, and nurturing mom. There was no reason for my son to suffer for my own misfortune as a child. I wouldn't have it! 

The summer before his 4th grade year, I felt led of the Lord to begin selling my pepper jelly at the Farmer's Market in Bentonville. I went to the market, found a place to set up, and found myself next to the loveliest of couples ... Tom and Mary. This too, was their first time at selling things at the Farmer's Market. Instantly, we became the best of friends. They were wonderful Christians who loved me for who I was. Long before I ever confessed to them how I felt, they were like the mom and dad that I needed in my life. Eventually, they would tell people that I was their "adopted daughter." (They actually have five daughters of their own!) 

Fast forward to 2017 ... a few years ago, Tom went on to be with the Lord. Mary and I still talk. She is like a mom to me. I love her dearly. She has been a rock to me over the past several months, but especially the past couple of weeks.

I say all of this, not to place Tom and Mary on a pedestal, but to give God praise! He knew that I needed them in my life and they needed me. Sometimes I don't really "feel" like I do as much for Mary as she does for me, but somehow it all works out. God crosses the paths of people to help each other out as He works out His purposes in our lives. We may or may not see it at the time ... or even later. But, He works all things for the good for those who love Him. 

I can say that I'm grateful for the things that God worked out in my life at that time, as difficult as it was. Those things He brought to light and healed me of has enabled me to help many others since then. And, although I am going through a difficult time now, I can say that I am grateful for it ... because I know that He will bring good from it ... and eventually bring me to a point of helping others in my same situation. 

This Thanksgiving Eve, I just ended a call with my spiritual mom, Mary, whom I am eternally grateful for. Her 88 years on this earth has given her much wisdom. I am grateful to be someone who is able to glean wisdom from her life.

What or whom are you grateful for this holiday season? Don't overlook the small details. I assure you, if you look closely, you'll see the fingerprint of God on it. 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone ... God bless!  :)

I'm Not Where I Used To Be...Thank God!!

I’m inspired to write today because I believe that a shift has taken place in my life.  Two years ago, 2014, everything in my life was coming to a halt.  I could literally envision big gears slowing to a complete halt.  In July of that year, slowly, very slowly, things began to move again and seemingly in a new direction.

 

The Angie that you see today is far from the Angie of 20, 30 or 40 years ago.  I owe all that I am today to my Lord and Savoir, Jesus Christ.  Without him, I don’t believe I would be here today.

 

By the time I was 36 years old back in the spring of 2003; I was shut off from society.  I was depressed, working through tough issues that had been suppressed in my life for years and years.  I wasn’t in denial.  I just didn’t even realize that they existed simply because of the way I had been raised.  Hang with me for a moment…   I have a friend who is from Poland.  She was an Olympic swimmer.  Once I asked her about what it was like growing up in a communist country.  She said that she didn’t know the difference until she began to compete in other countries outside of Poland.  It was then that she could see how life was different than what she knew in her own country.  That’s how it was with me.  I had been brainwashed to believe that the way I was living was truly living.  Jesus was healing me and bringing me out of that miry pit I had been raised in.

 

Now with that said, life has been challenging.  But, one thing I know.  I don’t have to look too far from where I stand to see someone who has had a tougher time than I have.  That’s just the way it is.  I don’t think I’m a special case…nothing like that.

 

So…in 2003, I found myself, angry, depressed, lonely, confused and barely able to function and often bombarded with suicidal thoughts. Many of you have heard my story about how, at this time of my life, the only person outside of my family I really ever spoke with was the barista at my local coffee shop and how, years later, God has moved me into a ministry at my local coffee shop.  What I’m about to share with you is another way that God has taken something from this time of my life and is turning it into a ministry to help other women who have had a similarly challenging life.

 

One day during this time of my life, I began to think, “Is this all there is to my life?”  “Something about this isn’t fair…it isn’t right.”  “Why have all of my plans come to an end?” “Am I going to be ‘that person’ who was voted ‘Most Talented’ in my class to end up dead by my own hand?”  I was crying out to God…and He had a plan.

 

For several years I had been making pepper jelly.  I would give it away as gifts.  Most people liked it so much that they would encourage me to sell it.  Suddenly, the idea came to me that I should sell it at the local Farmers Market…so I did.  When I look back on this, all I can see is God’s Hand at work because, in the midst of the depression, anxiety and dysfunction, I could not have done this on my own.  What I realized later is that He used this to get me back into society.

 

At the Farmer’s Market, He placed me next to two of the most wonderful Christians I have known.  They were loving, kind and accepting of me.  They had five grown daughters of their own, but said that I could be their “adopted daughter.”  Tom and Mary were wonderful Christian examples to me.  Although Tom has gone on to be with our Lord, Mary and I still visit.  She is 86 years young and still is blooming for the Lord wherever He plants her.  She’s quite and inspiration!!

 

So, for several years, I sold pepper jelly at the farmers market.  It was a very successful business, but then that season in my life came to an end.  God began to move me into another purpose.  Music!!  Music was / is a passion.  He began to move me in that direction once again. The pepper jelly hobby went on the “back burner.”

 

I was such an insecure person.  It’s all I had known simply because of the way I was raised.  I feared being in front of people by myself.  In school I had no problems performing because I was always in a group.  But, when I had to perform by myself, I would very nearly loose it.  In high school, I had gone to try out for the All State band.  I got so nervous and upset that I literally had to run to the bathroom to vomit simply because I had walked into the school where the tryouts were taking place.  All these years later, this dysfunction was still in me and needed to be removed from my life.  I followed the leading of the Lord.  I tried out at my church to be on the worship team and was told that I could be on the team, but that I had to be in the choir to be chosen.  So, I joined the choir.  This was a stretch for me because choir is not my gig at all!  But, along with being in the choir, the Lord led me to get a set ready and play at my local coffee shop.  I did it, but, I would be a nervous wreck the entire day that I would be scheduled to play.  I did this for 18 months and on most nights to an empty coffee shop…all the time, the Lord was working this fear out of my life.  I would get discouraged sometimes because I was singing in an empty coffee shop, but then I would encourage myself because I knew that I had to be faithful in the small things in life.  I wouldn’t allow the discouragement to take over.  The last coffee shop gig I did was to a packed house of people who were obviously enjoying the gift of music the Lord has placed within me.  Then, as quickly as the coffee shop door had opened, it then closed.  God was moving me to the next step in the process.

 

I believe it was the next day after what I now know to be my last coffee shop gig, I was called and asked to lead worship at a local outreach.  That began an 18 month training session in leading worship for me.

 

Now, even though I wasn’t selling pepper jelly at the farmers market, I would still keep it on hand and give it away or even sell a few jars here and there to loyal customers.  One Sunday I was at the outreach getting ready to lead worship and I had taken a jar of pepper jelly to give to the pastor.  As I handed him the jar, the Lord spoke to me that I should use the jelly as a way to help people.  From that moment on, I knew that some day, God would put everything in place to do just that.  That took place October 4 of 2009, nearly seven years ago.

 

Today, I believe the time has come to move the pepper jelly from the back burner to a full fledged non-profit organization.

 

I was in Starbucks, as usual, talking with some of my homies.  I had recently made some jelly and gave away the leftover jars.  They were raving about it and expressing the need to mass produce it.  It was then that I shared what I believed I would eventually use it for…helping abused women.  Now, what I didn’t know is that there was someone nearby who overheard what I was saying, liked my idea…AND…her job is to set up non-profit organizations.  All I can say is that God is amazing!!  A few days later this person approached me and explained that she had overheard what I said and that she had some ideas for me.  Long story short, we met and she literally lay out in front of me what I need to do to get this project up and running.

 

Now, the goal is for the Angie’s Pepper Jelly to be a 503(c) non -profit organization that will not only produce jelly for sale and partner with other organizations to help abused women financially, but also to serve as a place for women to work, earn a wage and gain self esteem and a new skill set to help put them back on the road to success in their lives.

 

I have set the goal for a year from now to have this up and running.  I have put this in the Lord’s hands and will continue to do so.  I believe that He created this to help me out of a challenging dysfunctional time of my life and then will continue to use it to help many, many others out of similar situations.

 

I hope that you can see how God has moved in my life to give me the life of abundance that He speaks of in John 10:10  The enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.  These are the words of Jesus.  It is His will that we live an abundant life…in all aspects…physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.  He wants us to be healed so that we can help others.  God’s word says in 3 John 1:2,  “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”   You see, yes, I was a mess.  But I have allowed God to take me out of the pit, clean me up and work through me to help others.  As my soul prospers, He wants me to prosper…and that means helping others in the way that He leads me and guides me.

 

I pray that if you are going though a challenging time, that God will show you what you need to do or need to allow Him to do in you.  He is the Author and Finisher of our faith.  Put your trust in Him and allow Him to show you what He created you for.  This life is but a vapor in the whole scheme of things.  Don’t waste the time that’s been given to you.

 

Vapors vanish quickly.