Giving birth...ouch!

 At the beginning of this year while in prayer, the Lord told me that the next nine months or so were going to be challenging and the road was going to be steep.  But, thankfully, He also told me that I would make it through it.  Now, you might be thinking, “Of course you’re going to make it through.”  At least that’s what goes through my mind when I wrote it. LOL!!  I have to say that I am very grateful the way He encouraged me, revealing to me that I would make it through.  It’s mid July and I’m not quite through the (minimum) nine challenging months.  In all honesty, this has probably been the most challenging time I have experienced in my life, seriously.  Oh how grateful I am that God is not only faithful to warn me about this, but encouraged me that I will make it through.  Because He knows the beginning from the end, I believe that He knew that I would need this encouragement or that I would quit and walk away from what I believe to be my life’s calling in Him.  Even knowing what I know, quitting has crossed my mind more than once since January.

 

So far since January, I’ve been told that I’m not a Proverbs 31 woman, that I’m hated by all of my family, that all I care about is myself, that I don’t hear from the Lord, that my vehicle purchase was vanity and not a blessing from the Lord…just to name a few things.  In the midst of a seemingly never ending battle to help someone I love to overcome narcissism, I’ve been accused of not handling things the way one person thinks I should handle them.  This person’s age in years is fewer than the number of years I’ve been married.  They have also known me for about one minute of my life, as well, by the way.  If you’ve never been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, all I can say is that you have no idea how challenging it is…no…idea!!  I don’t say that to defend myself, because even though I know that I know that I know that I’m not a perfect person, in which we all are imperfect, I know that I know that I know that I am exactly where God wants me, doing, to the best of my God given ability, all that He wants me to do concerning this situation.  God wants freedom for the narcissist as much as any other person.  (What I have learned about most situations concerning a narcissist is that most people abandon the narcissist deeming them too difficult for the Lord to heal.  I refuse to believe such nonsense! Jesus has overcome everything!!)

 

I, unfortunately, can now say that I have been abandoned and / or rejected by every family member and / or friend in one way, shape, or form.  Even so…I know who I am in Christ.  Now, I don’t say all of this to get sympathy or kudos, to pat myself on the back, or anything of the sort.  I just want to say, “Thank You, Jesus…I’m still standing!!”  Hallelujah!!  I’m standing because and only because of what Jesus provided for me at the cross to be more than a conqueror!!  Romans 8:31-39

 

I know that I know that I know that I will make it through what seems to be a birthing process.  What He plans to birth, I’m uncertain.  But, I do know that He has asked me what my hearts desires are more than once over the course of several years and then recently told me that He is going to grant them.  I trust Him.  His timing is perfect.

 

His ways are not like our ways.  If He allows challenging times, it’s because He can see the other side of the challenging time and knows that the outcome will work for our good.  He has brought me to a place of seemingly nothingness.  I am encouraged because I know that He loves to work miracles from seemingly impossible places.  That way it is seen that it is Him…and Him alone who has brought about a miracle!!  Hallelujah!!

 

He told me that this season would be challenging.  He, of course, speaks the truth.  He is truth.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6  But not only does He speak only the truth.  He is faithful!  God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should repent.  Has He said, and will He not do?  Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?  Numbers 23:19

 

So, I share these scandalous, challenging situations not to expose myself or anyone else.  I share them to be transparent because I know that I’m not the only person who is going through challenging times.  I know that I’m not the only person who sometimes wakes up in the morning and finds it hard to want to get out of bed and keep on keepin’ on.  We all have these moments.  I want to encourage you to keep on keepin’ on.  Put your trust in the Lord.

 

Although I can see some of the reasons why God has brought me on this route, I don’t fully know why He has brought me this route.  It’s not for me to figure out, but rather, to walk out.  But, what I do know is that He has shown me that He truly is the only One I can fully trust.  He is the only One I can fully rely on…Him and Him alone.  Man, whether they want to or not, intend to or not, will fail you.  Myself…I will fail people even though I truly would never intentionally want to fail someone.  We are human…imperfect humans.  We will make mistakes.  It’s not a matter of if, but when.

Don’t hold someone to standards that are impossible for them to keep.  Just don’t do it!  Life is hard enough.  Love God, love people.  That’s what matters.  If you don’t have discernment for certain situations, ask God for it.  God wants us to have wisdom about challenging situations in our lives.  James 1:5   If you find yourself lacking compassion in certain situations, ask God for it.  He has compassion for all situations because He has experienced everything every man could ever experience.  He has the compassion.  He will show us the way and you must choose it.  Hebrews 4:15


Yes, this has been a challenging season so far.  But, I can now look back over the course of many, many years and see that He has used challenging situations to grow me, strengthen me, and stretch me.  Without these trying times, we cannot be all that He created us to be.  It also costs us something.  We must choose to go through challenging times.  God never ever said that life in Him would be easy.  2 Timothy 3:12  But one thing I know is that it is truly worth it.  To know that I’m loved by the Creator of the Universe is enough.  He loved me first…and always.  1 John 4:19,  Ephesians 1:4

 

I also know that He will use these challenging situations so that I am equipped to help others.  He raises us up to be able to help others, so that they can help others…and on and on and on.  It’s about advancing the Kingdom of God in a world of darkness.

 

Trust Him through the process.  He is faithful.   

The Lid Is Off...

Today as I was readying myself for the day, my heart was heavy…heavy for my family, heavy for humanity, heavy for the church, heavy for this nation.

 

I couldn’t form any words, but suddenly, crying and tears broke forth.  I was crying out to the God of all flesh...all flesh…all races.  At first, no words would form.  The heaviness that was on my heart could not be expressed in words, but rather in tears, cries and groanings.  God understood.  Only He could understand.  Finally, I was able to form words…repenting, once again for this nation, for the atrocities that have occurred…unneeded killing, racism…hate…all from the enemy, but allowed by man.

 

We have done this to our selves.  We have allowed racism and hate long enough.  ENOUGH ALREADY!!

 

As I walked through my home today straightening things, I picked up an ice chest that we had used for a recent cookout at our home.  As I picked it up, I began to reason how I was going to deal with the water residue that was in it.  Quickly, I decided that I would simply put the chest in the garage, but I would lift the lid so that the heat in the garage would not cause any germs that might be inside to form and cause mold and mildew.  It was an easy decision.  If I chose to leave the lid closed, chances are, the next time I opened it, it would be disgusting and quite a mess to clean up.  All of these things went through my mind in a matter of moments as I carried this through the house to the garage.

 

It’s then, through this process, that the Lord allowed me to see that this is exactly what has happened here in the US.  You see, instead of doing the right thing here in the US, we have “enjoyed the party,” and “put the ice chest” away without dealing with it properly.  This country has enjoyed the fruits of the blessings of our God, but we have strayed away as prosperity has grown.  And, as immensely as the prosperity has grown, so has the nastiness.  The “lid” has been closed, ignored, and the nastiness took over…long ago.

 

I’m not just speaking about our government.  I’m speaking about the church, as well.

 

Collectively, we have turned a blind eye to the things that have been dealt with improperly…hate, racism, murder, inequality towards women, and even religion, just to name a few.  Now, you might be wondering why I have included religion in this.  Well, I say religion simply because being a follower of Christ has little to nothing to do with religion.  But, religion is much of what is at the root of the issues that we’re dealing with here in the US.  Followers of Christ should be the ones who lead the way, setting the standard for the community, not the other way around…and certainly not those who have Christ on their lips and not in their hearts…religion.  Matthew 15:8, Isaiah 29:13-17

 

We have churches and denominations that have chosen, in the past, to tolerate and even endorse hate and racism, when, indeed, they should have been standing against it in the name of Jesus.  When this is allowed, not for days, months, years, or decades, but centuries…we have a problem.

 

The “lid” has been on hate, racism, and religion far too long. Now, hear me loud and clear; not all religious people are this way, but many are.  And, those who truly are Followers of Christ will love others…ALL others…as Christ loves us all.  He loved us while we were still sinners.  Romans 5:8

True followers of Christ need to arise!  We need to be the hands and feet of Christ and show love and be love.  We have shrunk back too long.  We have allowed religious ways, hate, racism, violence, etc. to continue on when it should have been stopped long ago.

 

I am one who was not raised in church.  I came to Christ in my twenties; I’m only months from my 50^th today.  I have seen a lot.  When I began attending church, I had rose colored glasses when I participated with groups and such within the church.  At first, I bought it hook, line and sinker.  But, as I grew in Christ, I began to wonder why things within the church were so different than what was being taught in the pulpit and what is actually in the Bible.  So many churches are inclusive only to themselves.  They are much like social clubs…even though they teach that they shouldn’t be that way.  Many churches will even say that they are not like the “social club” churches in the area, when in fact they actually are.  Myself, for the most part, I don’t “fit” in today’s modern churches.  I have tried and I have come to the realization that it’s okay that I don’t fit in.

 

I love Jesus with all my heart, but I don’t find it necessary to jump through all the hoops that “church people” require to be considered a “good Christian.”  It’s not man who judges the heart, it’s God who does. 1 Samuel 16:7  Jesus doesn’t make us jump through hoops to be His follower, but He doesn’t turn a blind eye to the sin in our lives, either.  When He sees that the time is right, He brings it to our attention and brings conviction through the Holy Spirit to deal with it.  Then He lovingly shows us the way to overcome it.

 

Jesus loves everyone.  However, Jesus hates sin.  He is the Master at loving people even when they are still living in sin.  The church has a lot to learn in this area.

 

I’m very sorry to say it but the church is not doing a good job at loving people and hating sin.  The church is good at saying, “love the person, hate the sin,” but they, for the most part, are far from actually loving the sinner.

 

Church people…at least most of the church people I have been around…do not know how to relate to the lost.  They choose to stay in their comfortable bubble and call it “God’s way.”  I beg to differ.  The church has alienated itself from the real world and in doing so, have, for the most part, stopped being effective at truly winning much of the lost to the Lord.  They have continued to allow terrible things like judging, hate, and racism to not only survive, but grow into the nastiness that we now see on our TV and computer screens almost daily. The average person on the street wants nothing to do with Jesus simply because of many of His “followers.”

 

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.  Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~ Ghandi

 

There may be many of you who are reading this right now who believe that this article is not about you.  Maybe you are one of the few who do not live this way.  There are many who choose not to live this way, but there are far more who consider themselves followers of Christ who do choose to live this way.

 

Please understand that I’m not attempting to tear apart the Body of Christ, but rather, spurn realization to a sleeping, fence sitting church.  Revelation ch 1-3  Folks, this has happened on our watch!  Repentance is in order.  Examining ourselves, examining our ways and correcting them should be the new mandate.  There is a way out of this.  God is not surprised by this!  Jesus made a way when He said, “It is finished.”  We need to realize, more than ever, it is God’s way that we need to choose and not ours.  Our way is not working.  Look around…you certainly don’t have to look far to see that I speak the truth.

 

If you consider yourself a follower of Christ, I urge you to hit your knees in total submission to God.  I urge you to repent of anything that is between you and God.  I urge you to cry out to Him for repentance of this once great nation.  I urge you to ask Him to show you what you can do to spurn change in your area of the vast nation.  God is not through with this nation and we can once again be great if we humble ourselves before Him.  He alone is what has made us great in the past.

 

If My people who are called by my name will humble yourselves and pray and truly seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.  2 Chronicles 7:14

 

The lid is off.  It’s time to clean out the mess.