The past three months of my life have been a bit of a whirl
wind, to say the least. In a matter of
just a few days, the Lord directed me to leave family, friends, and basically
everything behind in Arkansas and temporarily relocate to California
I’ll have to be honest with you, I wasn’t sure as to the
“why” I was coming out here until about 4-5 weeks into my residency here in California
Yesterday, I was thinking about the scripture in
Proverbs. 4 “Do not answer a fool
according to his folly, lest you also be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly lest
he be wise in his own eyes. Proverbs
26:4 As I was thinking about some of the
crazy things that have happened since I left Arkansas
Early on in my arrival, a young woman began challenging my
boundaries. I’m sure she didn’t realize
that she was crossing boundaries that she shouldn’t. It’s ok.
I could see that she doesn’t have a good sense of boundaries for
herself. For the most part, I know and
understand how to handle these situations…only because of God’s leading and
guiding and not because of anything within me.
I rely on God’s help to know what to do and when to do it. I once was the young woman who had no sense
of good boundaries. I have allowed God
to teach me. Therefore, I now am ultra
respectful of the boundaries of others and also keep safe boundaries for myself.
Anyway, this person crossed a boundary with me. I didn’t say anything to her. I let it go, forgave her and prayed about
it. Soon thereafter, she did it again,
but in a different way. This time, I
asked her a question where she had to answer either “yes” or “no” to her
foolishness. Well, she didn’t like this
at all. She was immediately offended and
then went around spouting off about what had taken place between the two of
us. Never mind the fact that she was out
of line in the first place.
This is exactly what the proverb is talking about. It seems that it contradicts itself, but
really it doesn’t. You see, when dealing
with foolishness of others, you have to know when to speak and when not to
speak, and ultimately, either way, they won’t “get it.” When you don’t speak, said person believes
they are wise in their own eyes. When
you do speak, they usually get offended and show their immaturity. When dealing with a person like this, you
cannot win. It truly is best to simply
walk away and just keep the peace when coming in contact with them.
This person from that moment on did everything she could to
get into “my world.” It’s not that I was
unfriendly or mean. I was simply keeping
safe, healthy boundaries for myself.
This wasn’t my “first rodeo,” so the saying goes. The thing is, even though this person stirred
up all of strife and even tried to “teach me” where she believes I’m in error,
she has no idea that she is the one in error.
She has chosen to be “wise in her own eyes.” I don’t say that arrogantly or as though I am
wise in my own eyes at all. I say it
extremely humbly. I have been patient to
allow the Lord to show me exactly what He wanted me to learn from the situation
without spouting off and gossiping to others about the situation.
Basically, the Proverb says that you cannot win with a
fool. You cannot answer a fool who is
“wise in their own eyes.” You must be
cautious and use wisdom if you choose to answer what the Bible refers to as a
fool.
The truth of the matter is, this person is loved by God as
much as you and I are. He wants a better
way for this person as much as He wants a better way for you and me.
If and when we find ourselves in a situation like this, we
must remember that even though someone is crossing boundaries and being
disrespectful, we must take the high road, which I did, in this case. Thank
You, Jesus…who enabled me to do so!!
More often than not, we must remain silent, which I also did. God will fight these battles for us when we
allow Him to do so. Exodus
14:14 Silence doesn’t mean we don’t understand a
situation. Silence doesn’t necessarily
mean we don’t have anything to say, either.
For me in this particular situation as a leader, I wasn’t in a position
as a leader who had authority to confront and correct, but rather a follower. I knew my boundaries and chose to keep them. It wasn’t my place to correct this person, so
I forgave and let it go, but, I kept
safe boundaries for myself with this person from that point on. Wisdom was available, accessed and used in
this situation. If any of you lacks wisdom, let
him ask of God who will give it without reproach. James 1:5 I rely on this scripture A LOT!! God has never failed me. If I fail to use wisdom in a situation, it’s
not because of God, but rather because I didn’t ask for, access, or use
it. Wisdom is always there for us because
God is always there for us with an infinite supply of wisdom. We must
choose it. We must also pray for the
person who is the offender. The Bible
says to love your neighbor and pray for your enemies. Mark
12:30-31, Matthew
5:43-48
In this case, this person has no idea of their folly. That’s ok.
It’s currently where she is in her walk.
If she continues with the Lord and allows Him to do so, He will teach
her a better way in time … like he has done and continues to do with me because that's what I choose with all my heart.
Bottom line … be cautious when dealing with what the Bible
refers to as fools. Don’t fall into
their trap. Use wisdom that God
provides. Know who you are in
Christ. When you know who you are in
Him, you don’t have to try to win people over to your side because you know that the only opinion that matters
is God’s opinion of you. ~ Selah
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