Stand tall, stand firm in Him!

Several years ago, David and I found a church that we really liked a lot.  In a short amount of time, we realized that this is where the Lord wanted us for where we were in our walk with Him.  We filled out the visitor’s card to let them know where we were interested in serving.  Of course being a worshipper, I chose the worship team.  I’ll be honest with you, because of my past experiences, I was completely surprised when I was contacted by the church about auditioning for the worship team.  So, I went to one of their practices and then was given three songs to play and sing and a time to audition.

 

When I went for the tryout, I immediately felt a “wall” … an invisible spiritual wall.  In the moment, I wasn’t sure of what it was, but, I wasn’t nervous because I knew God had the ultimate say in the outcome.  Two minutes before I auditioned, one of the “judges” said to me, “Don’t be surprised if you don’t make the team the first time.”  Well, this totally threw me off of my game.  I wasn’t expecting to be discouraged, but rather encouraged!  In all my years of trying out for different bands on instruments from trumpet, trombone, euphonium and guitar spanning four decades, I had never in my life heard a judge make a comment like this, especially to the face of the person who is auditioning only moments before the audition.  Quite frankly, this behavior is very unprofessional and uncalled for.  I powered through and although I wasn’t happy with my audition, God was, and more importantly, He was happy with my heart.  Ultimately, I made it on the team…the first time.  I will say this, though.  This was the beginning of a tough twenty months for me.

 

I met with this young woman to make a personal connection with her and it was pretty much a waste of my time.  She was so convinced that she “knew who I was” through her “discernment” that she didn’t even listen to what I was saying to her.  She was more concerned with letting me know “what” she knew.  I was there to make a friend in Christ.  That never happened.  Before she got to the restaurant where we met, I had been working on a new blog.  A few weeks prior to our meeting, I had recently released a blog that had been read in approximately 52 different countries on six different continents in a matter of seven to ten days.  This was very exciting for me and I was still adding different countries to the still growing list.  She asked me what I was working on and I shared this with her.  We talked about it and I shared with her how, at the time, I seemed to have somewhat of a following in Russia, as well.  Now, you have to understand that I give God all the glory for this.  This was nothing that I could have ever done by myself.  It just happened on it’s own.  I don’t advertise my blog or anything like that.  Seeing God at work like this just makes my day!!  Hallelujah!!  But, I guess this wasn’t interesting to her and she informed me that she was certain that there was no way that the “supposed” Russian following was really a following because there was no way they could understand it.  She suggested that I use her for translating purposes for that reason.  I never did.  And, I found out later from a Russian friend of mine that, yes, they are taught English and can read it and understand it well.

 

In an effort to be friends with this young woman, as I attempt with all people, I was transparent with her about my life.  After all, we’re all flawed humans living in a fallen world.  I believe being transparent with people is a must.  But, as I’m about to share with you, being transparent can cause trouble for you.  Even so, you must rise above it.  No one should boast about the ease of their life.  Not one person on this planet has the choice of what family they are born into.  This is totally the choice of the Creator of all Creation.  I believe He knows what He’s doing…

 

So, this woman found it necessary to “share” my story with others, which is perfectly fine.  The problem I have is that I paid for her unbelief in God’s ability to heal hurts.  Because she couldn’t get through her head that God really does heal the hurts in our lives, she took it upon herself to spread “her truths” about me.  Church, this is called gossip.  Because she chose to not see that God had healed me, she spread rumors that I was a person in desperate need of help.  From that moment on, life at this church was, for the most part, was hell for me.  I had people mico-managing me personally…people who never took the time to get to know me, and to this very day, still do not know me.  And, because my tryout was not my best, they found it necessary to micro manage my guitar playing, ultimately placing me in a box.  If you’re a creative person, you know that this can and often does stifle the creative flow.  One of my college professors in music and I had a conversation about such things and he advised how important it is to allow creative flow to happen and not to stagnate, stifle, or stop it.  I couldn’t agree more.

 

**As a side note to this; if we place the Holy Spirit in a box, he is kept from doing His creative miracles…whatever they may be.  ~ Selah

 

**Micro managing and controlling others says more about the person who is micro managing and controlling that the one(s) they’re micro managing and controlling.

 

I had to overcome.  Finally, after a few months of the micro managing, I got my moment.  I had made the decision that, in this church, in this situation, I had to be who God created me to be.  It was all or nothing.  I say that respectfully and I was totally and completely respectful to the setting and the team.  I would not purposefully do anything to draw attention to myself.  Worshipping God is about just that…worshipping God.  I’m just one of the surrendered individuals that He is flowing though in the process.  I decided that if they didn’t like who I was … who I am … I was indeed ready to move along.  That wasn’t God’s will.  They did like my playing.  I was released from their grasp.  They had been putting restrictions on me that wouldn’t allow freedom of my worship style.  But then the tables turned…and not for my good.  Most days as I approached the church, I would pray, “God, protect me…thank You for protecting me because it feels as though I’m walking into a lion’s den.”  He did protect me while opening my eyes to things that were happening in the spirit realm.  It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t say … what I did or didn’t do … I would be “attacked” in some form or another nearly every time I was there.  I am finding that this was great training.  You see, when God promotes, as Joyce Meyer says, “new level, new devil.”  This is true and very often, actually, more often than not, it comes through fellow believers.  But, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with.  See Ephesians 6:12

 

We must be strong enough to withstand the onslaught of the enemy no matter who it comes through.  When we are weak, God shows His strength through us when we call upon Him.  2 Corinthians 12:9-11

 

You see, I don’t believe that God likes it when we, His children, behave this way.  But…we live in a fallen world.  He is not surprised by this behavior, nor does He love us any less through it.  Jesus made a way for us when He gave His all at the cross.  When we trust Him to do so, He will work all things out for our good.  Romans 8:28  We must trust Him.

 

If you find that you’re going through something similar to this, I encourage you to stand tall … stand firm in who you are in Christ in the midst of persecution.  Even though we may be surprised or taken aback by attacks from the enemy, God is not.  He knew everything that would happen to us long before the foundations of the Earth were laid, and He made a way.  Ephesians 1:4, 1Peter 1:20

 

Stand tall, stand firm in Him!!  It’s all about advancing the Kingdom of God and gaining ground from the enemy.  Don’t let the enemy stop you, in Jesus’ name!  Hallelujah!