A fool and his folly... Proverbs 26:4-5

The past three months of my life have been a bit of a whirl wind, to say the least.  In a matter of just a few days, the Lord directed me to leave family, friends, and basically everything behind in Arkansas and temporarily relocate to California.  God’s grace has been absolutely amazing…hands down…because this has been an extremely trying transition!!

 

I’ll have to be honest with you, I wasn’t sure as to the “why” I was coming out here until about 4-5 weeks into my residency here in California.  Now that I’ve been here for two days shy of two months, I have a much better idea of the “why.”  I wouldn’t say that I fully know all the reasons because God always tends to reveal some in “the during” and some in “the after.”  It always amazes me how He always works things out for my good.  I trust Him.  I trust Him, fully.

 

Yesterday, I was thinking about the scripture in Proverbs.  4 “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.  5 Answer a fool according to his folly lest he be wise in his own eyes.  Proverbs 26:4  As I was thinking about some of the crazy things that have happened since I left Arkansas, this scripture came to mind.  I looked it up, read it and pondered it throughout the day.  This morning, much to my surprise, it was in my daily Bible reading.  I was overjoyed, praising God for the way He does things and laughing because of the joy it brought me!

 

Early on in my arrival, a young woman began challenging my boundaries.  I’m sure she didn’t realize that she was crossing boundaries that she shouldn’t.  It’s ok.  I could see that she doesn’t have a good sense of boundaries for herself.  For the most part, I know and understand how to handle these situations…only because of God’s leading and guiding and not because of anything within me.  I rely on God’s help to know what to do and when to do it.  I once was the young woman who had no sense of good boundaries.  I have allowed God to teach me.  Therefore, I now am ultra respectful of the boundaries of others and also keep safe boundaries for myself.

 

Anyway, this person crossed a boundary with me.  I didn’t say anything to her.  I let it go, forgave her and prayed about it.  Soon thereafter, she did it again, but in a different way.  This time, I asked her a question where she had to answer either “yes” or “no” to her foolishness.  Well, she didn’t like this at all.  She was immediately offended and then went around spouting off about what had taken place between the two of us.  Never mind the fact that she was out of line in the first place.

 

This is exactly what the proverb is talking about.  It seems that it contradicts itself, but really it doesn’t.  You see, when dealing with foolishness of others, you have to know when to speak and when not to speak, and ultimately, either way, they won’t “get it.”  When you don’t speak, said person believes they are wise in their own eyes.  When you do speak, they usually get offended and show their immaturity.  When dealing with a person like this, you cannot win.  It truly is best to simply walk away and just keep the peace when coming in contact with them.

 

This person from that moment on did everything she could to get into “my world.”  It’s not that I was unfriendly or mean.  I was simply keeping safe, healthy boundaries for myself.  This wasn’t my “first rodeo,” so the saying goes.  The thing is, even though this person stirred up all of strife and even tried to “teach me” where she believes I’m in error, she has no idea that she is the one in error.  She has chosen to be “wise in her own eyes.”  I don’t say that arrogantly or as though I am wise in my own eyes at all.  I say it extremely humbly.  I have been patient to allow the Lord to show me exactly what He wanted me to learn from the situation without spouting off and gossiping to others about the situation.

 

Basically, the Proverb says that you cannot win with a fool.  You cannot answer a fool who is “wise in their own eyes.”  You must be cautious and use wisdom if you choose to answer what the Bible refers to as a fool.

 

The truth of the matter is, this person is loved by God as much as you and I are.  He wants a better way for this person as much as He wants a better way for you and me.

 

If and when we find ourselves in a situation like this, we must remember that even though someone is crossing boundaries and being disrespectful, we must take the high road, which I did, in this case.  Thank You, Jesus…who enabled me to do so!!  More often than not, we must remain silent, which I also did.  God will fight these battles for us when we allow Him to do so.  Exodus 14:14  Silence doesn’t mean we don’t understand a situation.  Silence doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t have anything to say, either.  For me in this particular situation as a leader, I wasn’t in a position as a leader who had authority to confront and correct, but rather a follower.  I knew my boundaries and chose to keep them.  It wasn’t my place to correct this person, so I forgave and let it go, but, I kept safe boundaries for myself with this person from that point on.  Wisdom was available, accessed and used in this situation.  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who will give it without reproach.  James 1:5  I rely on this scripture  A LOT!!  God has never failed me.  If I fail to use wisdom in a situation, it’s not because of God, but rather because I didn’t ask for, access, or use it.  Wisdom is always there for us because God is always there for us with an infinite supply of wisdom.  We must choose it.  We must also pray for the person who is the offender.  The Bible says to love your neighbor and pray for your enemies.  Mark 12:30-31, Matthew 5:43-48

 

In this case, this person has no idea of their folly.  That’s ok.  It’s currently where she is in her walk.  If she continues with the Lord and allows Him to do so, He will teach her a better way in time … like he has done and continues to do with me because that's what I choose with all my heart.

 

Bottom line … be cautious when dealing with what the Bible refers to as fools.  Don’t fall into their trap.  Use wisdom that God provides.  Know who you are in Christ.  When you know who you are in Him, you don’t have to try to win people over to your side because you know that the only opinion that matters is God’s opinion of you.  ~ Selah

Stand tall, stand firm in Him!

Several years ago, David and I found a church that we really liked a lot.  In a short amount of time, we realized that this is where the Lord wanted us for where we were in our walk with Him.  We filled out the visitor’s card to let them know where we were interested in serving.  Of course being a worshipper, I chose the worship team.  I’ll be honest with you, because of my past experiences, I was completely surprised when I was contacted by the church about auditioning for the worship team.  So, I went to one of their practices and then was given three songs to play and sing and a time to audition.

 

When I went for the tryout, I immediately felt a “wall” … an invisible spiritual wall.  In the moment, I wasn’t sure of what it was, but, I wasn’t nervous because I knew God had the ultimate say in the outcome.  Two minutes before I auditioned, one of the “judges” said to me, “Don’t be surprised if you don’t make the team the first time.”  Well, this totally threw me off of my game.  I wasn’t expecting to be discouraged, but rather encouraged!  In all my years of trying out for different bands on instruments from trumpet, trombone, euphonium and guitar spanning four decades, I had never in my life heard a judge make a comment like this, especially to the face of the person who is auditioning only moments before the audition.  Quite frankly, this behavior is very unprofessional and uncalled for.  I powered through and although I wasn’t happy with my audition, God was, and more importantly, He was happy with my heart.  Ultimately, I made it on the team…the first time.  I will say this, though.  This was the beginning of a tough twenty months for me.

 

I met with this young woman to make a personal connection with her and it was pretty much a waste of my time.  She was so convinced that she “knew who I was” through her “discernment” that she didn’t even listen to what I was saying to her.  She was more concerned with letting me know “what” she knew.  I was there to make a friend in Christ.  That never happened.  Before she got to the restaurant where we met, I had been working on a new blog.  A few weeks prior to our meeting, I had recently released a blog that had been read in approximately 52 different countries on six different continents in a matter of seven to ten days.  This was very exciting for me and I was still adding different countries to the still growing list.  She asked me what I was working on and I shared this with her.  We talked about it and I shared with her how, at the time, I seemed to have somewhat of a following in Russia, as well.  Now, you have to understand that I give God all the glory for this.  This was nothing that I could have ever done by myself.  It just happened on it’s own.  I don’t advertise my blog or anything like that.  Seeing God at work like this just makes my day!!  Hallelujah!!  But, I guess this wasn’t interesting to her and she informed me that she was certain that there was no way that the “supposed” Russian following was really a following because there was no way they could understand it.  She suggested that I use her for translating purposes for that reason.  I never did.  And, I found out later from a Russian friend of mine that, yes, they are taught English and can read it and understand it well.

 

In an effort to be friends with this young woman, as I attempt with all people, I was transparent with her about my life.  After all, we’re all flawed humans living in a fallen world.  I believe being transparent with people is a must.  But, as I’m about to share with you, being transparent can cause trouble for you.  Even so, you must rise above it.  No one should boast about the ease of their life.  Not one person on this planet has the choice of what family they are born into.  This is totally the choice of the Creator of all Creation.  I believe He knows what He’s doing…

 

So, this woman found it necessary to “share” my story with others, which is perfectly fine.  The problem I have is that I paid for her unbelief in God’s ability to heal hurts.  Because she couldn’t get through her head that God really does heal the hurts in our lives, she took it upon herself to spread “her truths” about me.  Church, this is called gossip.  Because she chose to not see that God had healed me, she spread rumors that I was a person in desperate need of help.  From that moment on, life at this church was, for the most part, was hell for me.  I had people mico-managing me personally…people who never took the time to get to know me, and to this very day, still do not know me.  And, because my tryout was not my best, they found it necessary to micro manage my guitar playing, ultimately placing me in a box.  If you’re a creative person, you know that this can and often does stifle the creative flow.  One of my college professors in music and I had a conversation about such things and he advised how important it is to allow creative flow to happen and not to stagnate, stifle, or stop it.  I couldn’t agree more.

 

**As a side note to this; if we place the Holy Spirit in a box, he is kept from doing His creative miracles…whatever they may be.  ~ Selah

 

**Micro managing and controlling others says more about the person who is micro managing and controlling that the one(s) they’re micro managing and controlling.

 

I had to overcome.  Finally, after a few months of the micro managing, I got my moment.  I had made the decision that, in this church, in this situation, I had to be who God created me to be.  It was all or nothing.  I say that respectfully and I was totally and completely respectful to the setting and the team.  I would not purposefully do anything to draw attention to myself.  Worshipping God is about just that…worshipping God.  I’m just one of the surrendered individuals that He is flowing though in the process.  I decided that if they didn’t like who I was … who I am … I was indeed ready to move along.  That wasn’t God’s will.  They did like my playing.  I was released from their grasp.  They had been putting restrictions on me that wouldn’t allow freedom of my worship style.  But then the tables turned…and not for my good.  Most days as I approached the church, I would pray, “God, protect me…thank You for protecting me because it feels as though I’m walking into a lion’s den.”  He did protect me while opening my eyes to things that were happening in the spirit realm.  It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t say … what I did or didn’t do … I would be “attacked” in some form or another nearly every time I was there.  I am finding that this was great training.  You see, when God promotes, as Joyce Meyer says, “new level, new devil.”  This is true and very often, actually, more often than not, it comes through fellow believers.  But, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with.  See Ephesians 6:12

 

We must be strong enough to withstand the onslaught of the enemy no matter who it comes through.  When we are weak, God shows His strength through us when we call upon Him.  2 Corinthians 12:9-11

 

You see, I don’t believe that God likes it when we, His children, behave this way.  But…we live in a fallen world.  He is not surprised by this behavior, nor does He love us any less through it.  Jesus made a way for us when He gave His all at the cross.  When we trust Him to do so, He will work all things out for our good.  Romans 8:28  We must trust Him.

 

If you find that you’re going through something similar to this, I encourage you to stand tall … stand firm in who you are in Christ in the midst of persecution.  Even though we may be surprised or taken aback by attacks from the enemy, God is not.  He knew everything that would happen to us long before the foundations of the Earth were laid, and He made a way.  Ephesians 1:4, 1Peter 1:20

 

Stand tall, stand firm in Him!!  It’s all about advancing the Kingdom of God and gaining ground from the enemy.  Don’t let the enemy stop you, in Jesus’ name!  Hallelujah!

Giving birth...ouch!

 At the beginning of this year while in prayer, the Lord told me that the next nine months or so were going to be challenging and the road was going to be steep.  But, thankfully, He also told me that I would make it through it.  Now, you might be thinking, “Of course you’re going to make it through.”  At least that’s what goes through my mind when I wrote it. LOL!!  I have to say that I am very grateful the way He encouraged me, revealing to me that I would make it through.  It’s mid July and I’m not quite through the (minimum) nine challenging months.  In all honesty, this has probably been the most challenging time I have experienced in my life, seriously.  Oh how grateful I am that God is not only faithful to warn me about this, but encouraged me that I will make it through.  Because He knows the beginning from the end, I believe that He knew that I would need this encouragement or that I would quit and walk away from what I believe to be my life’s calling in Him.  Even knowing what I know, quitting has crossed my mind more than once since January.

 

So far since January, I’ve been told that I’m not a Proverbs 31 woman, that I’m hated by all of my family, that all I care about is myself, that I don’t hear from the Lord, that my vehicle purchase was vanity and not a blessing from the Lord…just to name a few things.  In the midst of a seemingly never ending battle to help someone I love to overcome narcissism, I’ve been accused of not handling things the way one person thinks I should handle them.  This person’s age in years is fewer than the number of years I’ve been married.  They have also known me for about one minute of my life, as well, by the way.  If you’ve never been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, all I can say is that you have no idea how challenging it is…no…idea!!  I don’t say that to defend myself, because even though I know that I know that I know that I’m not a perfect person, in which we all are imperfect, I know that I know that I know that I am exactly where God wants me, doing, to the best of my God given ability, all that He wants me to do concerning this situation.  God wants freedom for the narcissist as much as any other person.  (What I have learned about most situations concerning a narcissist is that most people abandon the narcissist deeming them too difficult for the Lord to heal.  I refuse to believe such nonsense! Jesus has overcome everything!!)

 

I, unfortunately, can now say that I have been abandoned and / or rejected by every family member and / or friend in one way, shape, or form.  Even so…I know who I am in Christ.  Now, I don’t say all of this to get sympathy or kudos, to pat myself on the back, or anything of the sort.  I just want to say, “Thank You, Jesus…I’m still standing!!”  Hallelujah!!  I’m standing because and only because of what Jesus provided for me at the cross to be more than a conqueror!!  Romans 8:31-39

 

I know that I know that I know that I will make it through what seems to be a birthing process.  What He plans to birth, I’m uncertain.  But, I do know that He has asked me what my hearts desires are more than once over the course of several years and then recently told me that He is going to grant them.  I trust Him.  His timing is perfect.

 

His ways are not like our ways.  If He allows challenging times, it’s because He can see the other side of the challenging time and knows that the outcome will work for our good.  He has brought me to a place of seemingly nothingness.  I am encouraged because I know that He loves to work miracles from seemingly impossible places.  That way it is seen that it is Him…and Him alone who has brought about a miracle!!  Hallelujah!!

 

He told me that this season would be challenging.  He, of course, speaks the truth.  He is truth.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6  But not only does He speak only the truth.  He is faithful!  God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should repent.  Has He said, and will He not do?  Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?  Numbers 23:19

 

So, I share these scandalous, challenging situations not to expose myself or anyone else.  I share them to be transparent because I know that I’m not the only person who is going through challenging times.  I know that I’m not the only person who sometimes wakes up in the morning and finds it hard to want to get out of bed and keep on keepin’ on.  We all have these moments.  I want to encourage you to keep on keepin’ on.  Put your trust in the Lord.

 

Although I can see some of the reasons why God has brought me on this route, I don’t fully know why He has brought me this route.  It’s not for me to figure out, but rather, to walk out.  But, what I do know is that He has shown me that He truly is the only One I can fully trust.  He is the only One I can fully rely on…Him and Him alone.  Man, whether they want to or not, intend to or not, will fail you.  Myself…I will fail people even though I truly would never intentionally want to fail someone.  We are human…imperfect humans.  We will make mistakes.  It’s not a matter of if, but when.

Don’t hold someone to standards that are impossible for them to keep.  Just don’t do it!  Life is hard enough.  Love God, love people.  That’s what matters.  If you don’t have discernment for certain situations, ask God for it.  God wants us to have wisdom about challenging situations in our lives.  James 1:5   If you find yourself lacking compassion in certain situations, ask God for it.  He has compassion for all situations because He has experienced everything every man could ever experience.  He has the compassion.  He will show us the way and you must choose it.  Hebrews 4:15


Yes, this has been a challenging season so far.  But, I can now look back over the course of many, many years and see that He has used challenging situations to grow me, strengthen me, and stretch me.  Without these trying times, we cannot be all that He created us to be.  It also costs us something.  We must choose to go through challenging times.  God never ever said that life in Him would be easy.  2 Timothy 3:12  But one thing I know is that it is truly worth it.  To know that I’m loved by the Creator of the Universe is enough.  He loved me first…and always.  1 John 4:19,  Ephesians 1:4

 

I also know that He will use these challenging situations so that I am equipped to help others.  He raises us up to be able to help others, so that they can help others…and on and on and on.  It’s about advancing the Kingdom of God in a world of darkness.

 

Trust Him through the process.  He is faithful.   

The Lid Is Off...

Today as I was readying myself for the day, my heart was heavy…heavy for my family, heavy for humanity, heavy for the church, heavy for this nation.

 

I couldn’t form any words, but suddenly, crying and tears broke forth.  I was crying out to the God of all flesh...all flesh…all races.  At first, no words would form.  The heaviness that was on my heart could not be expressed in words, but rather in tears, cries and groanings.  God understood.  Only He could understand.  Finally, I was able to form words…repenting, once again for this nation, for the atrocities that have occurred…unneeded killing, racism…hate…all from the enemy, but allowed by man.

 

We have done this to our selves.  We have allowed racism and hate long enough.  ENOUGH ALREADY!!

 

As I walked through my home today straightening things, I picked up an ice chest that we had used for a recent cookout at our home.  As I picked it up, I began to reason how I was going to deal with the water residue that was in it.  Quickly, I decided that I would simply put the chest in the garage, but I would lift the lid so that the heat in the garage would not cause any germs that might be inside to form and cause mold and mildew.  It was an easy decision.  If I chose to leave the lid closed, chances are, the next time I opened it, it would be disgusting and quite a mess to clean up.  All of these things went through my mind in a matter of moments as I carried this through the house to the garage.

 

It’s then, through this process, that the Lord allowed me to see that this is exactly what has happened here in the US.  You see, instead of doing the right thing here in the US, we have “enjoyed the party,” and “put the ice chest” away without dealing with it properly.  This country has enjoyed the fruits of the blessings of our God, but we have strayed away as prosperity has grown.  And, as immensely as the prosperity has grown, so has the nastiness.  The “lid” has been closed, ignored, and the nastiness took over…long ago.

 

I’m not just speaking about our government.  I’m speaking about the church, as well.

 

Collectively, we have turned a blind eye to the things that have been dealt with improperly…hate, racism, murder, inequality towards women, and even religion, just to name a few.  Now, you might be wondering why I have included religion in this.  Well, I say religion simply because being a follower of Christ has little to nothing to do with religion.  But, religion is much of what is at the root of the issues that we’re dealing with here in the US.  Followers of Christ should be the ones who lead the way, setting the standard for the community, not the other way around…and certainly not those who have Christ on their lips and not in their hearts…religion.  Matthew 15:8, Isaiah 29:13-17

 

We have churches and denominations that have chosen, in the past, to tolerate and even endorse hate and racism, when, indeed, they should have been standing against it in the name of Jesus.  When this is allowed, not for days, months, years, or decades, but centuries…we have a problem.

 

The “lid” has been on hate, racism, and religion far too long. Now, hear me loud and clear; not all religious people are this way, but many are.  And, those who truly are Followers of Christ will love others…ALL others…as Christ loves us all.  He loved us while we were still sinners.  Romans 5:8

True followers of Christ need to arise!  We need to be the hands and feet of Christ and show love and be love.  We have shrunk back too long.  We have allowed religious ways, hate, racism, violence, etc. to continue on when it should have been stopped long ago.

 

I am one who was not raised in church.  I came to Christ in my twenties; I’m only months from my 50^th today.  I have seen a lot.  When I began attending church, I had rose colored glasses when I participated with groups and such within the church.  At first, I bought it hook, line and sinker.  But, as I grew in Christ, I began to wonder why things within the church were so different than what was being taught in the pulpit and what is actually in the Bible.  So many churches are inclusive only to themselves.  They are much like social clubs…even though they teach that they shouldn’t be that way.  Many churches will even say that they are not like the “social club” churches in the area, when in fact they actually are.  Myself, for the most part, I don’t “fit” in today’s modern churches.  I have tried and I have come to the realization that it’s okay that I don’t fit in.

 

I love Jesus with all my heart, but I don’t find it necessary to jump through all the hoops that “church people” require to be considered a “good Christian.”  It’s not man who judges the heart, it’s God who does. 1 Samuel 16:7  Jesus doesn’t make us jump through hoops to be His follower, but He doesn’t turn a blind eye to the sin in our lives, either.  When He sees that the time is right, He brings it to our attention and brings conviction through the Holy Spirit to deal with it.  Then He lovingly shows us the way to overcome it.

 

Jesus loves everyone.  However, Jesus hates sin.  He is the Master at loving people even when they are still living in sin.  The church has a lot to learn in this area.

 

I’m very sorry to say it but the church is not doing a good job at loving people and hating sin.  The church is good at saying, “love the person, hate the sin,” but they, for the most part, are far from actually loving the sinner.

 

Church people…at least most of the church people I have been around…do not know how to relate to the lost.  They choose to stay in their comfortable bubble and call it “God’s way.”  I beg to differ.  The church has alienated itself from the real world and in doing so, have, for the most part, stopped being effective at truly winning much of the lost to the Lord.  They have continued to allow terrible things like judging, hate, and racism to not only survive, but grow into the nastiness that we now see on our TV and computer screens almost daily. The average person on the street wants nothing to do with Jesus simply because of many of His “followers.”

 

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians.  Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~ Ghandi

 

There may be many of you who are reading this right now who believe that this article is not about you.  Maybe you are one of the few who do not live this way.  There are many who choose not to live this way, but there are far more who consider themselves followers of Christ who do choose to live this way.

 

Please understand that I’m not attempting to tear apart the Body of Christ, but rather, spurn realization to a sleeping, fence sitting church.  Revelation ch 1-3  Folks, this has happened on our watch!  Repentance is in order.  Examining ourselves, examining our ways and correcting them should be the new mandate.  There is a way out of this.  God is not surprised by this!  Jesus made a way when He said, “It is finished.”  We need to realize, more than ever, it is God’s way that we need to choose and not ours.  Our way is not working.  Look around…you certainly don’t have to look far to see that I speak the truth.

 

If you consider yourself a follower of Christ, I urge you to hit your knees in total submission to God.  I urge you to repent of anything that is between you and God.  I urge you to cry out to Him for repentance of this once great nation.  I urge you to ask Him to show you what you can do to spurn change in your area of the vast nation.  God is not through with this nation and we can once again be great if we humble ourselves before Him.  He alone is what has made us great in the past.

 

If My people who are called by my name will humble yourselves and pray and truly seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.  2 Chronicles 7:14

 

The lid is off.  It’s time to clean out the mess.

Trust God!

Back in 2010, I found it necessary to get a paying job outside the home.  Due to the economic collapse in 2008, the company David works for had massive lay offs.  He managed to survive the layoffs, but had taken a thirty percent cut in pay.  In 2006 we had finished building a new home.  There were some odd things that took place with the builder and it left things financially challenging for us even before the cut in his pay.  I had been the manager for 45 vendors at our local farmers market during the summer of 2009, but circumstances caused me to want to look for employment elsewhere.  A friend of mine told me about a part-time job so I checked into it.  I passed the tests that were required and ended up getting the job.

 

At the time, I was having some extreme physical issues that would cause me to be very tired.  I also didn’t realize that I was a tactile learner then.  Being a tactile learner means that I learn by going through the processes.  To sit and listen for hours on end is very challenging for me.  It’s actually better for me if you just throw me in the thick of things.  I may be in over my head at first, but once I get it, I rise to the top and do extremely well.  I just know that’s how I function.   It’s how I was created.  Looking back to my elementary school days, I remember having issues with this.  But, in the early 70’s they taught one way and you learned one way.

 

So, the training process was a bit challenging for me, but I really liked what I was doing, so I stuck with it.  I would even tell my friends about the place when they were hiring.  The hours were good.  We’d usually work only 6 hours a week and the pay was pretty good considering it was part time.

When we were learning new things, I would raise my hand if I had questions, like the others did, but my questions would rarely ever get answered.  I didn’t understand this.  My boss would look right at me and then ignore me.  This was challenging.  Also, the hours would change weekly.  Sometimes we wouldn’t know until the day before that we would need to be at work.  They would call to let us know and then we would have to call to confirm if we found out via voice mail.  Often, I would call the office and no one would answer the phone.  This was frustrating for me because I was doing my best to follow their instructions.

 

One day I addressed the phone issue with my boss after they embarrassed me in front of the entire team of people that we worked with.  They did not like this.  In fact, they didn’t like it so much that they called me into the office to “straighten me out.”  I prayed silently as I awaited the boss’ presence.  I knew that I had done nothing wrong and I didn’t like getting pushed around and ignored.  I just wanted peace whatever the cost.  I had decided that I had been there for a few years and this treatment hadn’t stopped.  It was no longer worth the frustration that it was now causing.  I made up my mind that I would stand up for myself kindly, politely and respectfully when the boss came in and I didn’t care if they fired me.  It was all or nothing.

 

So, the boss came in and began raking me over the coals.  This person was bullying me and I went toe to toe with them.  During this conversation, I found out that they didn’t think that I even liked my job.  I explained to them just how wrong they were about me and how I always share with people the job openings and tell others how much I like the job.  I wouldn’t have stayed, if I didn’t like it.  The job itself was fun and interesting.  Now…they seemed shocked.  And then, this person began to just talk and ramble on…speaking out the truth of the situation which, through this process, they actually revealed aloud that I had done nothing wrong.  They had judged me wrongly.  Then came the “deer in the headlight” look.  This person then apologized to me and brought in another person and they also apologized to me.  We all talked for a moment and then they realized that they had been wrong about me for more than two years.

 

You see they had chosen to see me for something that I wasn’t…for whatever reason.  They made that decision and held it against me without taking the time to get to know who I really was.  They apparently didn’t understand that in spite of my extreme physical issues at the time, I was there, pushing through the discomfort and still managed to do my job well.  And, in spite of the challenges to learn the way things were taught, I still learned and succeeded.  This was their issue, not mine.  They saw their error, humbled themselves, apologized, and all was well.

 

I still work at this place.  I still enjoy working there and enjoy the many people who work there…nearly 7 years now.

 

The person who I had gone “toe to toe” with recently left our NW Arkansas location to open a location elsewhere.  Before they left, they approached me and we had a wonderful conversation.  All is well because of the mature way that this was handled after they found out the truth of who I truly was.  They had believed the lies the enemy was whispering in their ears and I was the victim.  But, God found it necessary to vindicate me. I trusted Him.  I put Him in charge and followed the leading of the Holy Spirit.

 

If I wasn’t a Christian, I wouldn’t have any understanding of what was happening in this situation.  But since I am, I get it.  You see, it’s not flesh and blood that we strive with.  Ephesians 6:12  It’s the enemy.  In the words of Jesus; “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  John 10:10  I put this situation in God’s hands knowing that I didn’t do anything wrong.  Even If I had lost my job, I still knew that I had done nothing wrong.  Fortunately, my boss saw for themselves that I had done nothing wrong and they had held this against me for more than two years.  I’m grateful that I stood my ground in this situation.

 

God has called us to love others. 1 Corinthians 13 Often loving others means that we walk away silently, even when we know that we’ve done nothing wrong.  But, love is not a door mat.  Matthew 21:12-13, John 2:13-17  Love has safe boundaries.  Love is not a push over.  With that said, like in this situation, there’s nothing wrong with standing our ground.  I put the situation in God’s hands and He took care of it and brought the truth into the light.

 

We could call this situation a “holy discontent.” I have experienced many holy discontentments, but just recently learned a name for it.

 

When Jesus went into His Father’s house and saw them making it a den of thieves, it caused a holy discontent within Him.  It caused anger.  There’s nothing wrong with anger as long as we don’t sin in the process.  Human anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.  James 1:20  There’s nothing wrong with having a holy discontent, either.  It’s what we choose to do with it.

 

Jesus went and made a whip before He went back and drove the sellers out of the temple.  Making a whip takes time.  This situation wasn’t something that raised anger and just went away quickly.  This was something that needed to be dealt with.  Now Jesus never sinned.  He was angry and he drove the vendors out of the temple with a whip!!  In this situation, it wasn’t a sin.  He was doing the work of His Father.  John 5:19

 

Just like Jesus at the temple, we too, may experience a holy discontent from time to time.  We need to put whatever it is in the hands of our Heavenly Father.  He will show us what to do and when the time is right.  For me, two and a half years into the situation at my job was the right time to do something about it.  I put this situation in His hands and He brought good from it.  Romans 8:28  The key is knowing when to stay and when to walk.  And, the only way we will know is by being led by the Holy Spirit.  He will lead us if we allow Him to do so.  Galatians 5:16-18

 

Dealing with a holy discontentment may take some time and maybe even more time than we realize at first.  It will most likely make us uncomfortable, as well.  Don’t brush it off.  Go with it and trust God.  Put it in His capable hands and He will work it out.  Don’t take things into your own hands.  That will only cause problems.

 

Trust God!

Be strong in Him!

This morning one of the things that came to mind was something that happened more than 15 years ago.  Our family had gone to Oklahoma for a weekend to visit David’s mom and dad.  While we were there I decided to go for a run.

 

I had lived on Grand Lake in the country in Oklahoma for several years as a kid and was used to the back roads to run or ride a bike on, but I had never gone for a run at David’s mom and dad’s house before.

 

Off I went on the parched, dusty, dirt roads.  Prayer is as much a part of my workout as the workout itself, so Jesus is nearly always first and foremost on my mind.

 

It was July in Oklahoma, prime time for picking blackberries, but also very hot and humid, so I only ran a couple of miles.  I ran as far as I was going to go and then turned around to head back to the house.  I got a few blocks from their driveway and, to my surprise, a big Rottweiler came charging out of a neighbors driveway.  I didn’t have time to think, but out of my mouth came, “Go home in the name of Jesus!!!”  I stopped because I didn’t want the dog to chase me.  After I had commanded it to go home, the dog stopped in its tracks.  Now, I don’t mind telling you that I was a bit fearful.  I’m not much of a fan of dogs in the first place, but especially not of big dogs with bad reputations that are foaming at the mouth and charging me.  Yep…I was a bit scared, but in all honesty, there was peace all around me.  I stood my ground with the dog, not taking my eyes off of it, and eventually it turned around and trotted off to its home.

 

This is a perfect example of how the enemy attacks us from time to time.  We can be clipping along and suddenly, out of nowhere he attacks.  We have to be vigilant to keep ourselves covered with the Blood of Jesus, keep the full armor on and be Christ centered.  Exodus 12:7-13,   Ephesians 6:11-18,  Hebrews 12:1-2   Never would I have believed that I would have been able to respond so quickly and appropriately to the dog.  Truly, I believe that it was Holy Spirit that spoke through me and guided my reaction to the threat.  Luke 12:12

 

Stay focused on Jesus my friends because the enemy goes about like a roaring lion searching for whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8   He may not devour just anyone.  He may only devour those who are not ready for the battle.

 

Be strong in Him!        

The River of Love

Today as I left the house, I planned on going to Starbucks to write and I thought I knew what I was going to write about.  But, on the drive in, I felt as if the Lord was telling me to get ready to go deeper…much deeper.  Earlier I had posted something that was near and dear to my heart about allowing God be God and allowing Him to move in the way that He wants to move.  FB post I believe that this is a word not only for me, but for the body of Christ, as well.

 

My next thoughts took me to a dream that I had back in the early to mid ‘90’s.  This dream has been very relevant in my walk in the Lord since that time and also birthed a song, as well.

 

In the dream I was on the shore of a River.  There were many people around.  Some were on the shore just hanging out, not entering into the River.  Some people were just barely getting their feet wet, some were waste deep, some were “on” the River on innertubes, but not actually “in” the River.  As I went deeper and deeper into the water, I felt the Lord calling me deeper and deeper with Him.  I remember when I got to the point that I could no longer touch.  There was a current, but not a current that carried me away.  My feet left the bottom of the River and I suddenly plunged under the water.  I remember being concerned about breathing, but then realized that there was no need to fear.  This was the River of God.  There was no fear.  Then I woke up.  It was my choice to go as deeply with Him as I wanted to.  He was and still is calling me.

 

What the Lord was showing me very, very early in my walk with Him is that it’s our choice how deep we go with Him.  In my dream, as He took me deeper and deeper into the water, He allowed me to see others who were just hanging out.  Yeah, they were children of the Most High, but they were just hanging out on the shore or just barely getting their feet wet.  Some were half in and some appeared to be “deep” in the River, but they were actually just on the surface, floating along.

 

I believe the Lord is saying that He wants us “all in.”  But, we have to be willing.  You see it’s a choice.  We need to make the choice.  He’s calling us deeper with Him.  He’s calling us to a place that we’ve never been before. I also believe that we’re going to have to set aside our traditional ways of approaching God…no playing church, which has become the norm in so many churches.

His ways are much higher.  For several weeks now, God has been saying over and over and over again, “My ways are not like your ways.”  He has proven it to me over and over again by turning around terrible situations for His good.  And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called for His purpose. Romans 8:28  When God speaks something, obviously we should listen.  But when He repeats it, I believe we need to pay special attention.  I believe He’s preparing us for the greatest move of God that mankind has ever seen.  Are you ready?  I know I am.  I’m all in.  We need to set aside our fears.  Set aside fears of the unknown, fears of man, fear that the “normal man made structure” of church is not being followed.  These things are not of God.  God is not fear.  He is Perfect Love and in Perfect Love, there is no fear.  1 John 4:18 


Now, don’t throw caution to the wind.  That would be foolish.  Ask Him for wisdom and discernment.  James 1:5   As you enter the River, test the waters to be sure it truly is God. 1 John 4:1  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.  John 10:27

 

The River is set before you…jump in!!  Hallelujah!!  J \o/

Choose Love!!

As many of you know, one of my mission fields is at Starbucks coffee shop.  Over the past few years, I have become friends with a number of people of many different races, socio-economic statuses, etc.  There is a gentleman who has consistently been joining our group for the past two and a half years.  He traveled the world in his younger days, is quite a character and, for the most part, has been pleasant, until recently.  You see, the way I see this gentleman is where he is or isn’t in the Kingdom of God.  I know that God has brought him here because He has his mark on him…a mark for salvation.  According to the evidence of the fruit of the Spirit, this person, we’ll call him “Merle”, is either a back-slidden Christian or he has never known Christ as his Savior.

 

As the group of women, with the exception of Merle, has progressed to hearing, understanding and accepting the gospel, Merle has become increasingly diligent in opposing me, personally…and he’s extremely verbal about it.  This is very much a spiritual battle.  Now, I choose love, as challenging as it may be in the real time of the situation.  I’m not going to allow myself to push him away because I know what, or rather who, is behind these attacks.

 

You see, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with.  It’s the enemy.  Ephesians 6:12

 

I have set my mind to not allow myself to be offended by him because it’s more important to me that “Merle” find eternity in Heaven, rather than in eternal damnation.  I have to take this all the way back to the cross.  How long did Jesus wait for me?  Was I arrogant and rude to Christians as they were planting seed for the Kingdom of God?  Honestly, I don’t remember the answers to those questions, but I probably was rude and arrogant, and I’m sure Jesus was very patient the entire time He waited for me to answer “yes” to His call.  Therefore, I choose to be the same to Merle.  We cannot expect non believers to totally be accepting to the call of salvation in Christ Jesus.

 

This point of this blog is not to pat myself on the back.  The point is to point us all to Jesus.  It’s the will of our Heavenly Father, our Daddy, that all should be saved.  2 Peter 3:9  In cases like this, we must turn the other cheek.

 

This gentleman has risen to another level of attack.  It’s quite turned into verbal abuse, of which I am well associated.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I stood my ground with him along with silent prayer in the moment.  This did not dissuade him in the least.  I have been in prayer about how to handle this situation.  And, although I don’t know what the course of action is, I know the One who does.  I am at rest with this.  And, whether or not Merle comes to know Christ as his Lord and Savior, I am choosing love for this elderly gentleman. My heart cries out for his salvation.  In the time that I have come to know and love Merle, his health has declined quickly.  He reminds me of my own earthly dad, especially in that he has chosen to disassociate himself with his daughter, which I know from experience is heart breaking.

 

I’m sure that in one way or another, we all may have someone in our life that comes to mind as we read this.

 

Choose love.

 

Choose to turn the other cheek.

 

However, you’re not a doormat either.  Know when to keep on keepin’ on and when to walk away.  Like I said earlier, I’m not sure of the course of action as far as what to say and when to say it. But I have set my mind that I will allow the Holy Spirit to show me what the course of action is.  Luke 12:11-12  

 

Know that if and when you find yourself in a situation like this, it is the enemy who is attacking you through the person, not the man / woman, themselves.  Set your mind to keep that perspective.  When the enemy sees that the person they’re controlling is taking steps towards the Kingdom of God, they kick up the attack through that person.  In fact, often, the attack will get much worse before it gets better simply because the enemy doesn’t want to lose…and, in this case, I DO believe that the enemy will lose.  It’s just a matter of time.

 

Count it all joy!!  James 1:2-8  God is not surprised by this situation, nor does He not have a plan for it.  I don’t look down on this man.  I look forward to what God’s plan is for him.  I also look for the ways that God is growing me through this situation.  I’ve heard it said that God is the ultimate recycler.  I just love this statement because it’s so true!!  God doesn’t waste a single thing.  If we allow Him, He will work all things for our good.  Romans 8:28    Hallelujah!!

 

Choose Love!!     

Know who you are in Christ!!

I recently had a conversation with someone where, going into it, I thought that we were on the “same ground,” so to speak.  I soon found out that this wasn’t the case.

 

I’m writing about this, not to condemn or put down anyone, but rather to share what I have experienced so that others don’t get caught in a snare of the enemy, which is something that could have easily happened to me in this situation.

 

All in all, I have to say that this is not a situation that I will knowingly repeat.  Although there was some good that came from it, overall, I believe it was an attempted snare of the enemy to bring me down mentally and emotionally to attempt to keep me from moving forward with the Lord.  As #JoyceMeyer says: “New level, new devil!”  #Truth

 

In a nut shell, while sharing what the Lord has done in my life.  In one sentence that took merely seconds to speak, this person, had I believed what they said and allowed it, could have wiped out the true meaning of the past 8-10 years of my life. What I mean by that, is that had I not known who I am in Christ, I could have received the words that this person spoke over me and made the decision that I was no good and the past decade of my life I was a complete failure. Now, that being said, yes, the past decade has been extremely challenging.  However, I can see God’s purpose and training in every trial that has come my way.  I was told that I wasn’t praying effectively and that I brought all of the trouble on myself because I allowed it to happen.  Nope!!  Not sorry and not gonna receive that.  Am I perfect? Absolutely not.  Did I bring all of this on myself?  No, not in the least.  Could I have handled some situations better?  Possibly, in some situations.  But, I know now that I could have. Where, in the midst of the situation, I did the best that I knew.  It’s called training.  God is training me to fully and completely be who He created me to be. And, quite honestly, I’m not going to beat myself up for mistakes that I have made in training.  God doesn’t beat me up over it, so why should I beat myself up?  Does God correct me?  Yes, but He never beats us up.

 

There are certain spirits that I’ve sensed about the geographic area that I live in for a long time now.  I have wondered what it was / they were and about a year ago, the Lord revealed it, or at least part of it, to me in a dream.  Not only did He show me what it was, He showed me that He has used it for my good. Romans 8:28  He has used it to train me…my “college” …Holy Spirit U. My years haven’t been wasted years.  They have been training years and He has used incredible opposition to shape me, mold me, train me, strengthen me, stretch my faith and trust in Him.  He has used this situation, as well, to allow me to see just how far He’s brought me from only having an idea of who I am in Christ to knowing who I am in Him.

 

Do you know who you are in Christ?  The definition of know: have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with. You see because I spend time with the Lord, not on a regular basis, but as a lifestyle, I have come to know Him.  I know that He is with me always, whether I feel or sense Him or not.  When I sin, I repent immediately and ask Him to help me.  Because I abide in Him, I have come to know who I am in Him, therefore, allowing me to see or know when something or someone is speaking something that doesn’t line up with the Word of God.  Now, am I saying that I have “arrived” and have nothing more to learn in this area?  No, not at all.  What I’m saying is that I know who I am in Christ at this moment of my life and I believe that as long as I continue the lifestyle of walking daily, actually, every moment of my life being led by the Holy Spirit, He will continue to grow me in all areas of life. Romans 3:12-14

 

So, as a Follower of Christ, I encourage you to strive to know who you are in Christ if you don’t already.  Ask Him to show you who you are in Him.  He is faithful and will show you in His own way and His own timing. 1 Corinthians 1:9  Be diligent, patient and alert. Proverbs 13:4

 

As for myself in this situation; I have been praying for this person…praying peace, love, joy and prosperity.  Matthew 5:44   Remember, it’s not flesh and blood that we contend with, but principalities, powers and rulers of the darkness of this age.  Ephesians 6:12  I have examined myself in the situation, allowed God to show me anything that I do need to change about myself, because there is always room for improvement,  and am acting accordingly.

 

Know who you are in Christ!!