Like Vinegar Poured on Soda

‘God’s timing is perfect.’ (Habakkuk 2:3) ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ (Ecclesiastes 3:1-15) ‘God will never give you more than you can handle.’ (1 Corinthians 10:13)  Have you ever heard these ‘one-liners' spoken to you when you’re in a time of pain or turmoil? If you have, you know that it’s not helpful to the situation and it sure doesn’t feel good.

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda is one who sings songs to the heavy hearted.” Proverbs 25:20. Anyone who has ever mixed vinegar and soda … or had a child who wanted to simulate a volcanic eruption, knows what the outcome is when you mix the two. What about giving up a jacket or coat when it’s cold? When you’re already cold, the loss of that garment only makes the cold worse. This proverb from the Bible is telling us that being upbeat and joyful when someone’s heart is heavy only makes it worse for them.

In John, Mary and Martha sent for Jesus when Lazarus, their brother, was sick and dying. Jesus got word of this, but then delayed for two days before he went to Bethany where they were. Lazarus had already died by the time He arrived. The family and friends of Lazarus were saddened and mourning at his death. The Bible then tells us that Jesus wept. Jesus met those who loved Lazarus where they were … in the moment.

Before Lazarus had died, Jesus said, ‘This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s son may be glorified through it.’ John 11:4 So, when Jesus said this, He already knew what was going to take place. He knew that He would tarry where He was and that Lazarus would be dead and in the grave when He arrived in Bethany. He also knew that He was going to resurrect Lazarus from the dead … yet … Jesus wept. Jesus could have shown up and ripped off a few one liners telling the family and friends of Lazarus that all was going to be fine … that God’s timing was perfect, and so on and so on. But, He didn’t. Jesus met the people where they were. He met them where they were. Jesus had compassion on them. He joined them in their sorrow. How cold and crass it would have been for Jesus to be superficial and not relate to the sorrow that Mary, Martha, and the friends of Lazarus were experiencing.

Jesus lived on Earth as God in a fleshly body. He experienced all of the emotions that we experience. Even though He knew He was going to resurrect Lazarus from the dead, He wept with the people. This is an excellent example of how we need to be with others when they are in difficult times whether it is a death of a loved one or any number of difficult things that we may experience in life in this fallen world.

It’s maturity in Christ that allows us to meet people where they are … to mourn with them and maybe even walk with them through trying times. We have to intentionally choose to meet people where they are. In this world where ‘catch phrases’ rule the air waves and social medias, so many in the Body of Christ do the same thing. One liners like the ones I mentioned before may be true or partially true, but, if spoken at the wrong time it actually may make it worse for the one on the receiving end.

Myself, I have gone through many very difficult times in the past several years. I assure you, I have been on the receiving end of some of these one liners and, just simply put, ill timed words. Maybe it’s because those who spoke didn’t understand what I was going through … very possibly. Maybe it’s because they didn’t care … again, a possibility. But, maybe their depth as a follower of Christ is superficial. Who knows? There are a number of reasons why these words were spoken to me. I assure you that as I write this, I can see the faces of those who unintentionally added to my pain. Of course I have forgiven them, but I have not forgotten these situations. I want to learn from them so that I don’t make the same mistakes. I want to be transparent and share with others so as to help those of us who are followers of Christ to grow the Body of Christ. It’s all about Jesus. 

It’s all about Jesus.

We all go through difficult times in this life. We will all have difficult seasons. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) Jesus didn’t say if we have tribulations. He said, ‘… In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 So, it’s a matter of time until we enter a season of troubles/tribulation. I know I don’t want to be the person who causes more pain to another. I want to meet people where they are … believers and especially unbelievers.

I encourage you to embrace the example of Jesus with others who are going through trying times even though you may already know that they will make it through a difficulty, in time. Shallow words hurt others just like it describes in the Proverb; ‘Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda is one who sings a song to a heavy heart.’ Myself, I don’t want to be that person. I want to be more like Jesus.

I choose to be more like Jesus.

This may take some thought and prayer on our part. Holy Spirit is always here to help us. ‘Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning that cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.’ Romans 8:26-27 Another scripture I rely on is Luke 12:12 ‘The Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” When I have relied on this scripture, I assure you, God has never failed me in the words that come out of my mouth. Choose to be more like Jesus. It is a choice to allow Him to grow us to be more like Him.    

Worst ... and the best!

August 12th, 2019 marked three years since I left to head to California for an internship at a church there. At the time when I left, my husband and I were on the same page … at least so I thought. When we were praying about this, the Lord gave me one word … “reset.” I believed that God was using this to reset our marriage, which was in definite need, even though we were on good terms when I left. This internship was a “miracle” for me … at least so I thought. Almost immediately, I realized that the internship was a flop, but both my husband and I heard from the Lord that I was to stay in California. The Lord told me that I would be as certain of the time to return as I was to go there. So, I stayed, in faith. I assure you, this was very difficult for me. God was stretching me like I had never been stretched before. The good from my six months in California is that I did hear the Lord to stay, and I had a wonderful opportunity to be a Christian witness to female refugees from Afghanistan. It was a wonderful experience that I still support and look back on as a win, win situation. The bad news that came was when I knew it was time to return to Arkansas. It didn’t happen at all the way I expected. My husband called me to tell me he was divorcing me. He had led me to believe that he was coming out west for a vacation. I was planning a vacation … he was planning a divorce. 

Well, I said it had been three years. A lot has happened in these three years. In all honesty, they have been the worst three years of my life … the worst … but yet, in some ways, the best. (Some days that’s difficult to say!)

You see a little over 25 years ago, I had packed my bags for myself and my baby son. I was going to leave my husband. I couldn’t take it any longer. He has what we now know to be Narcissistic Personality Disorder … among other things. Things were bad. I was not only a young mother, but a young Christian. I had everything packed in the car that I was planning on taking and headed back into the house to get my son to leave for good. On my walk inside to get my son I heard the Holy Spirit simply tell me to “stay.” I didn’t doubt at all what I heard. I chose obedience, unpacked the car, and stayed. It was years later before my husband ever knew that I had planned on leaving him.

The next nearly three decades were very difficult. It’s challenging for me to find good things throughout that time. It was like walking on eggshells every single day.

A few months before our son was born, the Lord impressed upon me to stay home with him … something that I had not planned on doing. I had a decent office job and had been offered a buyer’s position at a retailer upon my return to work. I turned down the job. I chose obedience. God used this time to stretch me. He showed me how to trust Him for finances now that we were a young family on one income. He showed me how to rely on Him to be a good wife and mom. And, He took this time to heal me from a challenging childhood. When my son was born, I was a baby Christian. I was insecure and had no self worth. I had been controlled by family members and then by a husband. God used this time to break those chains off of me and gave me a sense of self worth. He taught me who I am in Him … a child of the Most High God.

I can tell you those years were challenging … actually, more than challenging! Imperfectly, because no one is perfect, I did the best that I could. My husband travelled A LOT, so I pretty much raised our son by myself in his younger years. But, when he was in junior high my husband was home more. At that time I knew that the marriage was going down hill and pleaded with him for our relationship … to no avail. Please know that I don’t say these things with any harshness. I say it because it is simply the truth. (I will get to a point later in this blog.) And, numerous times over those many years, I would silently plead with God to let me go. Again, the answer was for me to stay. Since God told me to stay, I totally believed that He was going to heal and restore our marriage … completely. I say that with all sincerity! That never happened and it never will. Instead, things just kept getting worse and worse, especially after our son graduated from high school. What I was fighting against all those years ago when my son was in junior high totally unfolded before my eyes over the next several years.

So three years ago, due to the leading of the Lord, I went to California. My husband called and said he was divorcing me. At the end of that phone call, God gave me the sign that ensured that it was time to go back to Arkansas. The divorce happened very quickly! But, I knew that God had ordained this. NO … God hates divorce, don’t get me wrong. (Malachi 2:16) This is why He had me stay for so long. God DID want to restore our marriage, but it takes two dedicated people. The divorce didn’t come from me. It came from my now ex-husband. And, it has been one of those terrible divorces that you hear about or see in a TV program on the Lifetime network. I assure you the last three years have been the worst of my life. I have endured things that I never could have dreamed up. (1 Corinthians 7:15)

I say all of this to tell you that even though they have been the worst years ever … at the same time … in some miraculous ways … they have been the best. 

Choosing to be a stay at home wife/mom all those years ago, left me with little to no paid work experience, but that has been God’s plan all along. You see, I’ve been working forward to ministry … advancing God’s Kingdom … which is why this road has been so challenging. God has used this time to stretch my trust, my faith, and my belief in Him. He has taken me from one experience to another over the past several years by the leading of the Holy Spirit. This has not been easy. It’s been far from a “walk in the park.” 

But God … 

His ways are not like our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I have been divorced for a little over two years now, but am still not totally free from all ties with my ex-husband. When I left California, I was in a situation where I was going to be put out with little to nothing as quickly as possible. I had no idea what I was going to do. But you see, God wasn’t surprised by any of this … not at all. He already had a plan and I assure you it has not gone anything like I thought it would. (Jeremiah 29:11)  What and how the enemy was trying to do me in has not and will not come to pass! (Isaiah 54:17) God has kept me in the house that my ex-husband and I own together for the past two and and a half years without any money out of my pocket … zero, nada! God has also seen to it that I have money to live on … not a lot, but all my needs are met. He has exceeded my dreams so far by allowing me not one, but two trips to Australia for worship conferences there … everything totally paid, 100%! He has increased my profit from the selling of this house … no matter what it sells for! He has taken care of the severe carpal tunnel syndrome that I had in both hands for many, many years with surgery a year ago. Most importantly, he is healing the trauma of the past three decades. I could go on and on. (Philippians 4:19) I am totally bragging on God because He deserves it! 

Now, I’d like to tell you that I have sailed through this with perfect faith, trust, and belief in God … but, I’d be lying to you if I did. I can tell you that there have been plenty of days that I thought I would “throw in the towel” for ministry just to get some of the pressure off. But, deep down, I knew that I would be making a tremendous mistake if I did. In fact, I have struggled with trusting God at times. I have struggled with faith at times in knowing that all things will work out for the good for those who love God. (Romans 8:28) I have said, “God, I believe you, but help my unbelief,” very, very often. (Mark 9:24) This has not been an easy road and I will not play it down and pretend that it has been. I’m not perfect. And, don’t believe anyone who leads you to believe that they are, either! 

Deep down, I know that God did not have me go through three decades of troubling times (in marriage alone, not including my childhood) just to lead me to more troubling times. God will not do that. It’s not in His character. (Numbers 23:19) I may have struggled through the past three plus years in this stretching and growing process, but God sees my heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) That first year that I stayed home with my son, I laid myself prostrate on the floor and told God that I was a woman after His heart. (1 Samuel 13:14) And, I still do that from time to time … to remind myself. God believed me and is holding me to it … hallelujah!

So yes … these have been the worst three years of my life. But … they have been the best in a lot of ways. God has, even long before the divorce, given me glimpses of the future. He has given me glimpses of the future during these three years. He will not lead me astray, let me down, leave me, or forsake me … or you! (Proverbs 3:5-6, Deuteronomy 31:6)

It is so exciting to know that life is going to be different soon. Troubles or trying times will never go away completely as long as we’re this side of Heaven. (John 16:33) But, I know that I know that it is going to be good … soon.

Worst … and the best.   

Transparent and Patient

A few years ago, the Lord led me to a woman who had just given her life to the Lord. She was in her fifties, but was literally a “baby Christian,” which is not uncommon at all. When I met her, she was practically in tears simply because the people at her church were not being very nice to her. They  were offended by the way she looked, and quite frankly were not understanding about her background. She had come out of a very abusive relationship and was in the midst of a divorce. To protect her identity, I’ll refer to her as “Mimi.” I had a conversation with Mimi and kindly let her know that Jesus loved her and that the way she was being treated wasn’t right, nor was it the way Jesus would treat her. We ended up spending several hours together over the next several weeks.

I have to tell you, I have been through a lot in my life, but I definitely could not relate to all that Mimi had been through. But, to the best of my ability, I relied on the Lord to lead me, which He most certainly did. God knew all that she had been through and led and guided me as to how to communicate and interact with her. (After several months, God led our paths went in different directions and I haven’t heard from Mimi in nearly three years.)

Now, I say all of this because of a few situations in my life that remind me of Mimi’s situation. 

Over the past two years, I have been healing from a very trying marriage of 27 years and a bitter divorce. I was married to a man who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), among other issues. Prior to my marriage of 27 years, my childhood was not he easiest, either. It wasn’t the worst you would ever hear of by any means. But trust me, it was far from the best. I say this with total respect of my parents and extended family. No family is perfect. All families have dysfunction. It’s just a matter to what degree the dysfunction is.  

With that said, God has done a lot of healing in my life … a lot. But, there will always be something for me to work on in my life this side of Heaven … always something. It has been my habit for many, many years to ask God to “take out of me what He doesn’t want in me and to fill those voids with Himself.” God is very faithful. I assure you, I am not the person I once was. Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, has transformed me, and is continuing to transform me into the person that He created me to be.

Recently, the two year “anniversary” of the divorce happened, but because of circumstances that are completely out of my control, I am unable to completely be “departed,” if you will, from my ex-husband. The house that we own together is still my home until the house sells. It has been just shy of 23 months and the house has not sold. This has been a very challenging time for me. I want to move on from here physically and geographically, but God is not ready for me to do that yet. It has been time where He has used the circumstances to heal me of the very challenging times/events of the previous 3 decades. I assure you that this has been the most challenging time of my life … hands down! God has used this time to not only heal me, but what I like to call, “refine my friends list.” In nearly every aspect of my life, if not every aspect, He has allowed nearly everything but basic essentials to be stripped away from me. Now, I don’t say this in a way of complaining. I say it simply because “it is what it is.” A walk in the park would not accurately describe my life in general, let alone the past 2+ years. On one hand, looking at the big picture, I can see why God is doing what He’s doing/allowing. For His Kingdom purposes, because of the call on my life, He has allowed this “refining process.” Now … on the other hand, I can tell you I’m doing the best that I can just to get through this with a good attitude. (which doesn’t happen every day! LOL)  This isn’t just about the recovery of a terribly harsh divorce. This is a “wrapping up of the past five decades of my life” … “the end of a season” … to enable me to move on to fully do God’s will for my life. He has given me many gifts to use for the advancing of His Kingdom which is a ministry to help those who are in the same or similar situations that I have experienced. To coin a phrase that I heard someone else say once; “God is the ultimate recycler.” This is so true. If we allow Him, He will use the situations/events of our lives to help others.

Now … I mentioned that He has allowed many things, including people to be taken from my life. This has been challenging because I don’t always have someone to talk to … vent … or as a sounding board so that I can work things out in my heart and mind. I write and journal, but because God created us for community, the need/want for interaction with other human beings is very real. I have found this process as difficult as my friend Mimi that I mentioned earlier. I have found that the majority …not all … of the folks that I have spoken to:  1. Don’t have time and don’t want to have time for me. 2. Even if they do take time, they don’t really want to listen. They want to “fix” me. Although I see that they care, they don’t have the answers, and I don’t expect them to. 3. They can only see things the way they want to see them and, in turn, end up judging me … which actually makes me feel worse than when I began my conversation with them.

I actually believe that this is something that God wants me to experience. I saw this happen with Mimi, but I didn’t actually experience it. I am experiencing it now.

It’s not our job to “heal” people. It’s our job to be “conduit” to allow the Holy Spirit to go into the lives of others and heal them. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again; It’s our job to love others and let God be God in these situations. No two people are alike. No two “same/similar” situations are alike. This is why we need God to take control and heal us by the Holy Spirit. Only God knows what a person needs. When “religion” puts certain situations in a “box,’ so to speak, it’s being done wrong. I say that respectfully! God has many different ways to heal us. What He does with one person, He may not do with the next person. Like Mimi, many of us have had traumatic situations from the day we were born. My first traumatic memory is from age 3. Now, we all have things in our lives that require healing. Respectfully … if anyone believes that they don’t, they are either lying or in denial … period. Some people have fewer things. Some people have a plethora of things. Sometimes God heals things in a hurry … almost instantly. Sometimes He heals things in layers. I believe I’ve experienced both of these ways. But mainly He heals me in layers … beginning at the outer shell, much like those Russian nesting dolls we’ve all seen. You look and see only one wooden, painted doll, but when you pick it up you realize there’s something more inside. You take the outer shell off, only to find another smaller doll inside … and so on and so on … until you get to the tiniest doll inside. Like the removing of the larger dolls to get to the tiniest doll inside, God, over time, will remove one shell or layer at a time … in His timing and in His way … contrary to the way most Christians handle the issues in the lives of others. Most people usually want instant results.

We must choose to be sensitive. We must choose patience. We must choose to allow the Holy Spirit to work. Again, we are not the healers. We are only the conduit for the Holy Spirit to work. And, we need to be there for people. This takes time and practice.

I have had several people that God has placed in my life even while going through the difficult times of the past 2+ years where I have had to choose sensitivity and patience, and allowed the Holy Spirit to work. Of course I’m not perfect and have made mistakes. That’s part of the growing process. We have to take steps forward for growth even if it means making mistakes here and there. That’s just part of life. When I see my mistakes, I admit it and give apologies. There is nothing wrong with being transparent, either … nothing. I assure you that people are much more responsive to transparency than they are to being superficial. When my son was growing up, I apologized to him when I made mistakes, not if, but when. I admitted to him when I was wrong. This fostered a relationship where he was not afraid to be honest with me. We need more of this within the church.

Folks, Jesus gave up Heaven to come to this Earth so that He understood, first hand, what we go through. He is there for us in all situations and wants us to be there for others. He is so very patient with us. His grace is sufficient for us in all situations. 2 Corinthians 12:19 I assure you this is not always the easiest thing to realize, fully understand, and/or utilize whether dealing with my own issues or walking with someone through their issues, especially when things are very challenging. But … in order for the church to function as God wants us to, we must purposefully tear down the walls of being superficial and risk being transparent. We must intentionally choose to learn patience. As a follower of Christ, I challenge you to these things in your own walk. It’s the only way to truly reach others for Christ. When we, as the church, pretend that all is well, we actually repel those who are seeking God. We are all broken people who make mistakes whether we admit it or not. We must remember that we are imperfect people who carry a perfect God inside us.

Choose to be transparent.

Choose to make yourself available for others.

Choose to have patience.

Choose to admit that you may not know something.

Choose to allow God to do things His way.

We are not “Holy Ghost Jr.” as Joyce Meyer says. Allow God to work through you as you are there for others.   

Do you know who you're not?

Do you know who you are in Christ?  Are you able to stand firm knowing what your purpose is without copying someone else?  Sometimes when we’re growing into who God created us to be we can fall for the lie that we’re not enough or don’t have what it takes.  That is so not the case.  And, as God matures us he’ll take those things out of us.

Do you know who you’re not?

As a child, I was not raised to be a person who had self esteem.  In fact, I was taught “to be controlled / manipulated” by someone other than myself.  Now, you can imagine what trouble that caused in my life as I grew into adulthood.  I was in my mid 20’s before I even realized that I had been controlled and manipulated my entire life and didn’t know who I was … in Christ.  Well, at that point, I gave it all to God and asked Him to heal me … which He did, and continues to do.  I can stand tall today and say that I know who I am in Christ Jesus.  Sure, I have to deal insecurities just like everyone else, especially when going through troubled, uncharted waters.  I just don’t let those insecurities rule my life.  I continually ask God to take out of me what He doesn’t want in me.  I choose that way of life until my time on this Earth is finished.

Now, several years ago, I realized that I don’t necessarily learn the same way that most people do.  I am a kinesthetic-tactile learner.  I know there are others out there like me, but we are in the minority as I read on Google that 65% of people are visual learners.  So basically, in order for me to learn something, I need to be moving, doodling, or actually perform the task over and over for it to “stick” in my brain.  However, the good thing is, once it’s there, it’s usually there for the “long haul.”

Over the past several years, I have struggled in an area for one reason or another.  Often, the struggle is not brought on by my own flaws, but rather by the environment that I have been in.   I don’t consider my learning style a flaw or a disability! I have explained the type of learner that I am and have been effectively ignored, causing me to struggle to keep up, so to speak … often keeping me from being the best that I know I can be.  It’s not that I’m incapable of the task.  It’s that I haven’t been allowed the proper tools to be successful.

Earlier I asked if you know who you are in Christ.  I asked this to make a point.  We have to know who we are in Christ to be fully effective for Him … to advance His Kingdom.  I know that I’m an imperfect person who loves God and wants to be all that He created me to be so that I may advance His Kingdom.  I know that I have had challenges that most people only see on a “Lifetime” tv channel.  But, I also asked if  you know who you’re not?  You see, I know that I’m not a person who will be controlled or manipulated by others … at least not knowingly.  I also know that I’m not a person who can see something and learn it at a glance the majority of the time.

I have to tell you; my learning style doesn’t bother me simply because I know who I am, but I also know who I’m not.  The only frustration that comes is when I’m not allowed the proper tools to function to the standard in which I’m capable.

Now, I understand that God’s grace is enough.  Of course it is.  I assure you He has filled in often for me.   But, I also know that I am incapable of being the best “me” when someone else’s expectation of me is to function / learn the same way that they do.  In most cases, it’s not possible for me to do that.  Trust me, I’ve been down that road several times.  I have had people “encourage me” because their belief is that I don’t have self esteem.  I have had people allude that I’m “fearful,” or think I believe that I’m “not good enough,” and so on and so on.  You see, none of these things are the case.  No, I’m not a perfect person. None of us are.  And, if you claim to “never do anything wrong,” you are either in denial or lying.  #truth  Perfectionism is not what I’m talking about here, either.  It’s the simple ability to function well simply because I have the tools I need to do so.  I’m the type of person who takes the time beforehand to do the work that I need to do so that I can function at the level of the rest of the team because I don’t want to hold anyone else back.  It doesn’t bother me that it takes time for me to do this.  I enjoy it … because it’s who God created me to be.  Unfortunately, you cannot believe the things people have said to me, effectively putting me down, simply because they chose to not understand the way I learn … basically … who I am.  It’s all good.  God strengthens me through these trials.  “God works all things out for the good for those who love Him.” Romans 8:28

I know who I am, but I also know who I’m not. Choose to be balanced in knowing who you are in Christ.

As a leader, take the time to understand your people.  Don’t expect people to act, perform, handle things like you.  As leaders, yes, we’re leading people, but ultimately, it’s God who is leading all of us.  Jesus is the only person we should want  to be like.  Phillipians 2:5-7

God didn’t create us all alike.  He created each and every one of us as unique individuals.  In fact, there is only one of us in this entire world or the history of the world … only one.  We have to come to the understanding that, not only for our own self, but also for others.

Do you know who you’re not?  Don’t allow others to force you into a mold of themselves.  Do your best to be all that God created you to be, allowing Him to shape and mold you as you travel along life’s path.  That’s all you can do.  Remember, not everyone will understand you and, you will not understand everyone whose path you cross. Don’t attempt to form them in your own image and don’t allow others to form you into their image.

Follow Jesus.

Allow Him to lead and guide you.

Learn from the process.

Know who you are, but also, know who you aren’t.

What the ocean washes away ...

As many of you know, I’ve been blessed to be able to travel to Australia a couple of times now.  It’s something that I have known that I would do for many years.  I had to continually press toward that goal year after year after year, literally, before it came to pass.  And, although it was a joyful experience for it to come to pass, it did not come without sorrow.  Although I never could fathom just how things would come to pass while in the very  troubled marriage I was in, never did I imagine the dream coming to pass as a divorced woman.  I totally believed God for healing in all aspects of my life and marriage.  With that said; my husband divorced me, which, ironically, allowed for my travel to the wonderful country of Australia.

While I was there, I visited a beautiful beach called Norah Head.  I was amazed at the rocks that are on the beach there.  Where the Pacific tide comes and goes on this beach, over time, it has worn away parts of the rock that has left nearly perfectly straight lines. I noticed this the first time I was there, but then really took notice last winter when I was there.  I said to my friend, Joey, “These lines nearly look man made, but they’re not.”  They have been made by the continual flow of the tide over many, many years.  I know this may sound simplistic, but, Holy Spirit was speaking to me about His Creation.  I really tried to wrap my brain around what He was speaking to me, but, I knew that this was deeper than the actual crevices in the rocks on this beach.

As I was focusing on the rocks, the lines in the rocks, and opening my heart to receive what Holy Spirit was saying to me, I could see, in my head, friends and acquaintances from my “home Starbucks” thousands of miles away.  For years, there had been quite a number of people at that store who had become friends and quite frankly like family in some aspects.  Some of us were daily customers; some weekly; and some just occasional customers.  But, because we saw each other on a regular basis, we would reach out to one another, sharing life’s ups and downs.  For many years this group of people grew in number. But then, nearly as quickly as it grew … one by one … we each have gone our separate ways.

Just as the tide of the  Pacific continues to flow over the rocks on that beach, wearing away parts of the rock, creating lines, or crevices, so the Holy Spirit flows over and through our lives, individually and as units, taking away the parts that He doesn’t want in or around us …creating crevices or voids that only He can fill.  He flows over and through us, washing away parts and pieces, using departure, betrayal, deception, divorce, death, distraction, etc … just to name a few ways of creating these voids.

He put our “Starbucks group” together as a “unit” for a time; teaching, molding, and fashioning us the way He saw fit for each of us, for a time.  But then, in His perfect timing, carried away what was not needed, piece by piece, one by one … putting each of us in different places, for different purposes, with different “units” of people, continuing to carry on the same process.

The big question is this:  Are we allowing Him to work in us and through us through this process?  Are we relying on Him to show us what we need to change in our lives? Or, are we just allowing these things to happen without sufficiently learning what God’s purpose is for all of it?  We can either learn from what He’s showing us, or we can ignore it, “sweeping it under the rug,’ so to speak.  I assure you, sweeping it under the rug is not the way to go.  When we do that we are ignoring the issues that God wants us to deal with.  Just because we ignore something doesn’t mean that issue will go away.  I assure you, it will still be there for us to deal with whenever we decide to deal with it.  I say, “Why not deal with the issue when God brings it to our conscience instead of dragging it out for weeks, months, years, or decades?”  When we do that, we’re only making it more difficult on ourselves.

God has a purpose for everything that takes place in our lives.  These “lines” or “voids” that are created are there for a reason; to strengthen and teach us through and in Him by allowing Him to fill those voids that are left behind. People won’t and cannot fill those voids.  Oh, one can try, but in the end, we will see that we truly need God. We are nothing without Him. I do my best to remember to tell Him on a daily basis that I am nothing without Him.  I don’t want to live my life without acknowledging that He is working in and through me at all times. In all honesty, anything that we do without Him is done in vain.  Now, that doesn’t mean that He won’t take our messes and work it out for His good, because He will and does according to Romans 8:28.  “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose.”  Hallelujah!!  He is a loving Father who not only genuinely cares for us, but genuinely loves us.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

So, again I ask: “Are we allowing God to work in and through us as these “lines” or “voids” are created in our lives?  God takes things out of our lives that we do not need, whether it’s people, things, habits, etc. Are we allowing Him to then fill that void with Himself? Or, are we trying to fill it with something or someone else? My hope is that as these things take place in our lives that we will allow Holy Spirit to do what He does best … simply help us.  After Jesus was resurrected from death to life, He said that it was to our advantage that He go back to Heaven.  Physically speaking He could only be in one place at a time … like us. But, He told us that when He left, He would send Holy Spirit to be our Helper.  Holy Spirit is our Helper!!  How awesome is that?  There is nothing he cannot fix or heal …nothing.  It’s a matter of whether or not we allow Him to do so.  I hope that you will allow Holy Spirit to work in your life as He sees fit.  He truly knows what is best for each and every one of us.  Trust in Him!     

God is Love. Jesus is Our Example.

This morning as I began my quiet time with the Lord, I had to do some warfare first thing. The enemy came and began reminding me of what someone called me while I was at an internship in California a few years ago.  You see, I didn’t “pray” the same way these folks did, and they didn’t like that very much.  Unless under extreme attack from the enemy, I usually sit quietly worshipping the Lord and I write in a notebook what I say to the Lord and what I believe He is saying to me.  I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with this.  It’s who I am.   Also, a question that had been asked was; “Has anyone ever done something to you where you simply forgave them without confronting them?”  Immediately, a situation came into my mind and I spoke out loud saying, “Yes, I had a situation where I was led of the Holy Spirit to forgive without confronting.” Well, immediately the pastor in charge apparently didn’t agree and showed it by  her facial expression.  Another intern asked the pastor if she disagreed with what I had said.  The pastor then, in a very passive-passive-aggressive way, said that she didn’t agree and that we should not be “religious doormats.”  I explained myself further to explain that I had followed the leading of the Holy Spirit and then shared an example where I did confront when led to do so and when needed. At that time, this pastor verbally abused me more and then allowed the other ten interns to verbally abuse me while I sat there and took what they had to say. I remember just looking to the ceiling quietly, while praying in my head, “Forgive them, they know not what they’re doing.”

Sometimes when I sit down to worship and pray, the enemy will attack in this way.  I have to run him off.

The next thing that happened this morning was that I turned to Proverbs 31 for my daily Proverb.  Immediately, the enemy came attacking me about another time where this scripture was used to “beat me up” spiritually about 3 years ago.  You see, at the time, I had been married to a man who was abusive to me, not physically, but mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially.  At the time we had been married for 26 years. (Shortly after this, he divorced me.) It was growing more and more difficult by the day to tolerate what he dished out without arguing.  Over the years, I had learned to choose my battles well.  In this particular situation, my then husband had caused a lot of trouble for me at the church we had only recently began attending during a conversation with the worship pastor.  Later, I had a chat with the worship pastor and another pastor at the church to let them know of my situation because I did not appreciate the way my then husband set me up for a troubled time there.  I mean, no one wants to get started off on the wrong foot in anything that they do … am I right?  So, I met with them and we chatted a while.  The head pastor suggested that I fast for my husband.  Early on in the conversation, I had agreed … wanting to be agreeable.  But, the longer we went on in the conversation, I knew that I could not and would not fast for him.  It just wasn’t in me to do that for him.  There was so much going on I just couldn’t do it. (I was hurting and needed support, not criticism!) As we were wrapping up the chat, he asked me again if I was going to fast for him.  I said, “I’m sorry, I just cannot do it. I’m just being honest with you.  I just cannot do it.”  Immediately, the expression on his face changed towards me as if I were the devil, himself and he reached for his Bible.  He then proceeded to read Proverbs 31, the portion about the virtuous woman, out loud to me.  Immediately, I knew exactly what he was doing. Previous to this situation, I had sat through a teaching on this same scripture and had felt very confident and encouraged by the Lord that I had been doing my best to be what the Bible describes as a virtuous woman.  As he read, I prayed for God to be with me.  The pastor finished the Proverb and proceeded to ask me; “Are you this woman?”  In confidence, I answered, “Yes.”  He looked and me and said, “I think you better go home and read this Proverb over and over for the next 21 days and insert your name in here.”  After that, I was cut out of the worship team and pretty much treated like a piece of trash at the church.  Needless to say, it didn’t take very long for me to leave.  I’m was not and still am not a worthless piece of trash for some pastor to verbally abuse and treat poorly.  I know my worth in Christ!

Now, I don’t share these things to make you feel sorry for me.  I say them because I want to share these terrible experiences so that we can learn from them.  None … none … of these situations are acceptable behavior at all!  I find them to be totally ridiculous!  God does not want us to treat fellow followers of Christ this way … no way!  The church exists so that we can help each other through difficult times.  The church should be a safe place … a “hospital for the hurting.”  Why these things happened, I have no idea.  I just know that God allowed them to happen to me.  And, I’m quite certain that I’m not the only person within the Body of Christ who has been treated in this way.  I actually have many other examples that I could share that fall within this category, but these are the ones that came into my mind today.

These behaviors that I have shared with you are simply religious attitudes.  Jesus would have called these people “white washed tombs.” These folks are clearly examples of the Pharisees of Jesus’ time.  This is unacceptable.  This is not an example of love at all.  These are examples of “religious people” pushing people around … namely me in these examples.  The only reasoning I have for why people do this is that they lack love and simple human kindness.  I don’t  believe for a minute that Jesus would have treated me this way had I been speaking to Him face to face in these situations.

I have to tell you that when these things happened I was somewhat hurt.  It was difficult for me to believe that there was a purpose to all of this.  But, I chose to overcome and believe that God had a purpose.  Of course, it’s much easier for me to talk about this now than it was then.  You see, God has been showing me what not to do when I’m in a position like these folks for more years than I’d like admit.  It’s been a long road.  Let me be very clear, God doesn’t like this behavior, but He will allow it when He knows that it can be used to build strength and bring wisdom to those involved.  I surely hope that I have learned all that He wanted me to learn through these situations.  Forgiving them is key … they, apparently, know not what they’re doing.  I was able to overcome and move on with the Lord.  But, I have been committed to be all that God wants me to be, even when the road becomes more than a bit challenging.  Yes, sometimes … many times … I have said that I’m “done.”  LOL … but, never really.  I think sometimes it just helps to get the bad thoughts and feelings out to enable me to move on to what God has next for me.

Now, what if this had happened to a young or baby Christian?  (Oh, I feel my blood pressure rising even as I type this.)  At the same time this happened, and at a nearby “safe” church here in Arkansas where this took place, I was walking with a baby Christian.  She, was treated very poorly by some of the people over the fact that the person in charge didn’t like that she had hot pink hair and a lot of tattoos.  When she shared with me that this had happened, I prayed for her and talked to her about what was said.  I explained to her that this was not God and it’s not how Jesus would treat her.  I explained to her that these were imperfect people like myself and her, and that we should forgive them and move on.  She was so damaged by the treatment of these people that she walked away from God and eventually walked away from our friendship.  This broke my heart.

You see, these acts that are not love, hurt people … some more deeply than others.  Young Christians, in particular, do not always understand that people, even though Christians, will sometimes hurt others.  Although God’s light shines through us, we are not God.  We are still fallible human beings.

Church … we need to get back to caring for people other than the ones we see at church every week.  If we’re not kind and loving to those in our world … whether they know Jesus as their Savior or not … we’re doing it wrong.  I’ll say it again!  If we’re not kind and loving to those in our world … whether they know Jesus as their Savior or not … we’re doing it wrong.

If you’re reading this and you’re someone who has been hurt by the church, whether leadership or a church member, I encourage you to talk to God about it.  Forgive the people and allow God to heal your heart.  Hindering your walk over people is not worth it.  Forgive them and find a good Bible believing church, get involved and remember what you have learned.

On the other hand, if you’re reading this and you feel some guilt because you could possibly be one of the people in this blog who did the hurting, I encourage you to repent and find your first love, Jesus, again.  “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  1 John 4:16

God is love.  Jesus is our example.  Let’s arise to the occasion and love others better … like God loves us.